bread and cheese

boys:cheese :: girls:bread

a fine, well-aged cheese goes oh-so-well with a slice of freshly baked bakery bread.

in fact, nobody wants newly churned cheese curd on a loaf of stale old bread, all crunchy and inedible.

even 1 day old bread loses its worth... on sale for 50% off!

sad :'(

realizing this as i get crustier and moldier....

i can't let you go 2010.

don't grow up

Today, we were eating at New Garden (God Bless you jja jang myun makers, i missed your black sauce noodles) and my second to youngest cousin (age 15) asked me (in particular) if i could drive him to a party after dinner. of course i said yes..but first i told him not to eat any onions if he was gonna go to a maaaake out partyyyy (har har!) when we were leaving, he was delicately balancing this big 김box in his hands as if it held something very precious. i asked him what was inside? he wouldn't let me open it... so i pried it out of his hands and forced it open only to find.... 4 chocolate cupcakes??!!!!!!!!!!!! lololololol

apparently he wanted a ride to this girl's birthday party at BJs... a senior! my cousin is a freshman in high school, mind you. and this is what he had prepared for her....

we (the older cousins, older yet still very obviously immaturerer) made fun of him like crazy!!! what the heck is that? you pansy! did you bake those? why only 4? you cheapo! didn't you get her a present?? why did you put it in that box? you wanna stop and get a real cake box to put it in you ghetto azz..... etc, etc.

i knew he would probly be very embarrassed at this point, so to make my cousin feel better about his cupcake baking, i started telling the story about my brother and how he was so in love with this girl named Roxy that when she was having a fundraiser and asked my brother for a donation, without hesitation, he forked over all of his weekly allowance and starved for the rest of the week. what a stupid azz.... funniest part of that story was that i remembered it but my brother didn't... -_- had he already forgotten his old sentimental self?

Point of story: every girl should know what it feels like to be a Roxy.... to know that although it may not seem like much... some boy is willing to hand bake cupcakes with rainbow sprinkles on your birthday and get them safely into your hands... or unknowingly sacrifice all his lunches for a cause that you believe in.

boys.. don't ever grow into douchey, hard hearted, selfish, thoughtless men. stay as sweet as that chocolate fudge on your cupcakes... forever!!!!

tears of a clown

i have this new theory about nice guys that is comparable to my theory about pretty girls.

very pretty girls (who have been pretty all their lives) tend to lack excitement and depth because they have not had to development interesting personalities. things just come easier in life... unlike girls of average or below average looks who have had to strive and build themselves up out of necessity; to survive in a shallow world and compensate with additional attributes to make up for where they fall short in looks.

very nice guys tend to lack depth and a sense of inner struggling, brooding, intensity because they have lived such lovely lives. nothing forced them to search deep within themselves and reflect and get all emotional and get in touch...

you know what they say about funny people too? that they have developed a sense of humor through the hard times life has brought them. they had to learn to make jokes and laugh about things in order to cope and move on... and keep from losing their sanity. (it's totally true). the tears of a clown are the saddest ones~

we all adapt and learn to struggle through things and grow from them as they happen in life. our experiences make us who we are... so then can our lack of experiences stunt potential emotional development... ???

therefore, i say pretty girls and nice guys are a good fit.

their innocence (ignorance?) about the world complements each other.

people like me? i guess we need a little bit more fermented darkness...

we're attracted to the brooding viper type (a.k.a. don drapers) because we can relate to it, and find solace in the healing process...

nobody said it was healthy.

but it's not by choice... it's just by nature.

just the two of us

funny how a shared moment with a stranger can sometimes feel so unintentionally cathartic...

we both sat there in the stillness,

women of a similar distress,

wearing our mk watches,

sniffling through the turbulence,

sneaking sideways glances at each other,

dabbing at our eyes with a silent tissue,

wondering what the other was thinking about...

complete strangers.... yet kindred spirits.

thanks for the coincidental meeting, 19A.

love,

19B

pave the way

i get offended when people ask me who is older... only cuz i think my brother looks so old and i, so young.. but i guess 16 months isn't that much of a difference...

sometimes i joke around that i raised my brother and took care of him, so he's like a younger brother to me.. but the reality is that growing up i followed him around everywhere and copied everything he did, and i still kind of fear him and look up to him at the same time...

the one burden that i had on my heart when i left home [to discover my little self in this big apple] was my brother... more specifically, my brother's salvation.

i know i made it a point to really instill in my GNC family my concerns for his faith... and i felt shy at times about asking people to pray for him but now i'm totally glad i did. i know they're really caring for him and guiding him. man, i really love the people at my home church and i believe they are doing some really great things... genuine revival.

my heart is so gladdened to notice that not only did my brother facebook acknowledge me as his legitimate sister... (yay) but also that he has written his Religious belief as "Jesus". wowowo! i am so encouraged. it was probably a better thing that i left, so that there was more room for him to breathe and make his own way instead of me overbearing and smothering his growth.

and honestly, this is just another testimony not to worry. why worry? God will always take care of everything in His own time. i remember Praise Mike told us not to worry about leaving the church because our positions could always be filled and God will always work no matter what. just trust in Him...

well, today, i say, happy 27th birthday and i love you so, my only brother.
and Praise God!

i'm so pretty, oh so pretty...

as a woman (and forever girl inside) i know the pain of desiring beauty and wanting to be attractive.

it's sad to say that guys can get away with being less good looking because they can make up for it with their personality + hard working diligence + humor + etc.. basically as long as they have what it takes for us to respect them; in the clear. but as girls, we don't really have much to offer besides cuteness + beauty + sexual allure.... we just want to be loved, and physical attractiveness is the easiest and most acceptable way to be so.

with that said, i am so very thankful for my lackluster qualities in the looks department.

yeah, i'm sorta kinda stubby all over and super rough around the edges... but when i image myself being taller, leaner, and more modelesque, it makes me shudder. i cringe at how much more tempted i would be to live a worldly life. how the attention i would probably receive from the opposite sex would become a sort of idol/addiction. even the word "pretty" would lose value from over-hearing/overuse. i would be even more obsessive about my physical presentation and spend hours and dollars on end to keep myself at a certain [high] standard. the way i expect to be treated by others would also be different.

i think just everything about me would be different. i'm a firm believer in the theory that good looking people tend to lack personality and depth because they don't ever have a need to evolve in that way. naturally it's because they already get everything easily and have everything the need. hence, my character and personality development would have been thwarted by my [hypothetically] stellar looks!

but super most important, i would be blinded by the love for myself and the need for acceptance from this world.. and it would keep me from a genuine and profound faith in Christ. and THAT is what scares me most about overwhelming physical beauty.

simply put: i'd rather be a fatty that fits through the narrow gate; than a thin beauty strollin' through the wide gates to an eternity without God.


Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

overtime

i must admit the men of this city exist in a different caliber of classy. from their long burberry trench coats to their sea green, sheepy cloud ties. it's toe up from the floe up: dandy style.

yeah, they look good in winter wear. but you know what it is about these suits that really gets me? besides their success, dignified elegance, and noble mannerisms? and super besides the sense of security that their consistent (large) paycheck could potentially bring...

it's the discipline.

these guys had to fore go many things in life to study hard to get the internships that lead to the good positions in those good companies. think about the focus, passion, and self sacrifice that takes! diligence is super sexy.

it always comes down to a man's ability to prioritize, commit, and sacrifice. it's what separates the men from the boys. admit it, you can't help but revere a man who is able to work hard for what they want and be willing to make sacrifices in order to attain it.

and it leaves a little hope inside.. that maybe someday... we will be worth the sacrifices you make to attain us!! :")

don't forget

two things to remember me by if i ever die:

1. burberry for women.



2. always be my baby.

you're so money

You know how guys say they want to marry a girl before they make all their money, just so they know they can trust 'em? non-gold diggers they say...

Well after skimming through a very enlightening book, "Why Men Love B!tches," i think girls should do the same except we should be sheisty about what men look for in women. A man's currency is indeed his prestige and career while a woman's currency is her beauty and wifey abilities (men: don't deny it).

Guys generally don't run and try to spend all their money on you at once, right? Yeah, they invest more of their dime as the relationship matures and they start to believe that the investment will be worth it for them in the long run...

so, a word of advice to women: do the same in return. don't show all your cards too early!

1.Don't look too good just yet. don't shed those last 5lbs.... and yes wear your glasses and your sweatpants and see if he still finds you attractive. Then later, full blown best you can be.

2. Oh, and don't cook and clean for him or do his laundry.... or else you won't have any tricks up your sleeve to make him feel really lucky when you become his home woman. and i doubt he even deserves all that goodness if he's not your husband yet. =I

3. Lastly, don't ever, ever, under any circumstances let him see or touch anything 'cept maybe your face... but only if he is going to gently cup your chin with his hand, or caress your cheek as he gazes adoringly into your eyes... just maybe. haha. just joking...who does that nowadays ?? aw, sad..... =( is there no romance left in this world!?!?!

together we can.

"Collectivism requires self-sacrifice, the subordination of one's interests to those of others." -- Ayn Rand

"Collectivism ... treats society as if it were a super-organism existing over and above its individual members, and which takes the collective in some form (e.g., tribe, race, or state) to be the primary unit of reality and standard of value." -- Prof. Fred D. Miller

i've realized that on a scale of 0 - 10, i rate myself as an 8.5 in favor of collectivism vs. individualism. i was just raised that way.... my family is so utterly collectivist that my brother once explained that we have a communal parenting style where if an aunt knows you're going somewhere it can be assumed the message will be relayed to your mother... haha. and when they advertise a chinese cabbage sale at H-Mart in the morning paper, you best believe that my momma gonna run over within the hour; smells of kimchi will be wafting from our kitchen within the day; and jars full of fermented goodness will be dispersed to the various households existing within the 5 mile radius that is the boundary of my extended family.

living with people has made me notice and evaluate the disparity that exists between others perspectives and mine. for me, if you can gain anything from some sort of sacrifice that i can make, then i am more than willing to make it. i care about the harmony of the whole more so than the efforts i have to keep in order to maintain that harmony. for instance, if i'm going to buy something at the market, i'm going to buy it to supply everyone. and if you need me to do something for you that will lose 10 minutes of my time but win you 5... then i will do it for you.

some would say that i am a "people pleaser"... in my defense, it makes me happy to see you happy, as long as it doesn't make me too sad. then we can all be somewhat happy together! as a collective! ....and it has nothing to do with being kind, or gracious, or a good person. because, i must admit i can be something of a crazed bratalicious monster when i'm feeling selfish. oh truuust that i know how to put myself first sometimes. but collectivism.. it just has to do with efficiency, mindfulness, and really, the golden rule.

[of course, this is not to say that i am placing any kind of value judgment on people who lean more towards the individualistic side of the rainbow. i am merely stating that everyone is different and am suggesting that we all have to be sensitive and tolerant (better yet, forgiving) about each person's point of view and learn to live, love, and work with each's differing value systems]

synapses

keywords: action potential, threshold, failed initiations, refractory period, resting potential, all or nothing principle

....are we learning about the process of neural connections or the process of dating right now??
ㅎ_ㅎ

urban dictionary

My new favorite word:


My new favorite definitions for this new favorite word:
1. Assclown
One, who, through the fault of his parents conception, is a skid mark in society's collective underwear.

3. assclown
A person who is laughable and detestable at the same time.Usually pretends to be a know-it-all,often enhancing their stories,knowledge, experience,and every thing in between with pure bullshit.

4. assclown
Someone who considers it his or her sworn to duty to act like a complete ass at all times.

5. assclown
a.A person that is so silly and embarassing that neither the word "ass" or the word "clown" can properly describe them.
b. One who takes part in bafoonary, douchebaggery, or general just-too-muchary, often because of drinking alcohol.

6. assclown
A person who is a total moron, or who makes an attempt to do something but ends up failing miserably & entertains everyone around them

Some new ways to use this new word:
1. “I suggest you get moving, Assclown!”
2. "You, my good sir, are an assclown."
3. "Bill is really an ass for sharting in the bar. He is also a clown for telling everyone about it. But he is certainly an assclown for not going home from the bar and spending all night with a poopy butt"

See also:
Assclownery, Asshat, Asshead, Asshole, Ass for brains, Buffoon ass, Buttclown, Drunkard

coz you had a bad day~

it's amazing how much i've changed, yet stayed the same.

my struggles are still my struggles. my detrimental flaws are still detrimental. but i've noticed that the way in which i deal with situations and emotions has definitely changed. my intentions and attitude are different as well...

when something amazing happens, the first thing i think is PRAISE GOD! similarly, the first thing that gets me through a horrible, terrible situation or day is praying for patience and wisdom and knowing that this too shall pass. Suffering is good for the soul.... it builds character.

see?
in my past life as my past self, i would have never-everland thought that way.

Christ beings hope to all.

reality check

when i start thinking about the things in my life that bring me down... i try to remember:

a. those who cannot think for themselves because they are physically incapable
b. those who can think, but cannot act on it because their priority is to serve their country in dangerous places around the world.
c. those who want to think but cannot due to the painful side effects of a recent neurological treatment

*and by those, i mean specific people that i personally know.

that always brings me back down to earth.
how petty of me....

Luke 21:36

schlemiel

One Art

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

-Elizabeth Bishop

fat bro

the first time i talk talked to my brother since i left home and it went like this:

Daniel: you fat peeg
me: what do you waaant
Daniel: when you start school
well dont be a pig at school
is jessica going to school there
what the hell you been doing there all this time
me: i been working! i am working now
Daniel: ok fine you pig and call home
because people want to know what you doing there.
me: what happened to the hummingbird, did it really die???
Daniel: it is still up there on teh ledge
becoming a mummy
me: i call halmuny but she no pick up ever
Daniel: ok shut up
go to work
bye
me: no! working at cafe making me fat
i quit!! and catch the humming and set it free
Daniel: he ded
me: no!!! save it!
Daniel: stupid it been deh for like one week already
it rotting
or ants might eat
the house has ants all over
one night i come home and they all on my desk and bed
so i sleep in your room
me: HAHAHA
don't sleep in my bed
you smell like poo
who been using my bed?
Daniel: doggies pooed on your yoga mat
no one use your room
except watch tv and i play game sometimes
me: you stupid! they think it is the diaper pad
cuz it is the same color
Daniel: probably haha stupid
me: no you is the stupid. dogs are color blind!
Daniel: well they can see shades
so its the same shade to them
you stupid
you dont know anything
me: fine. clean the poo up
it better not be dry and crusty when i get back in dec
Daniel: you think its a big party over there
u and jessica and julie the three pigs go party every night
you supposed to be studying
me: no!
we study every night
and then pray and go to bed early
and eat munchies and get fat
Daniel: stupid
Daniel: ok pig you be smart
did you use the self defense moves i taught you
me: yes i did
it working very good
i use it on julie when she being stupid to me
Daniel: ok fine bye

jules says

this is ME down to the T:
if you don't know... now ya know.

Leo
Your psychological nature is powerful and full of self-confidence. You are a leader whose strength and nobleness command your entourage’s respect and adherence, with unchallenged legitimacy. Your ability to order, the prestige and charisma that emanate continuously from your person inevitably put you, under the spotlight, wherever you go.

With this Ascendant, you come across as proud, determined, wilful, loyal, solemn, generous, ambitious, courageous, heroic, full of vitality, creative, confident, seductive, happy, daring, majestic, honest, magnanimous, charismatic, responsible, noble, brilliant, radiant, dramatic, affectionate, full of humour, demonstrative, swaggering and self-confident. You can also be domineering, conceited, touchy, authoritarian, stubborn, intolerant, self-centered, irascible, violent, and nonchalant.

The Ascendant (or rising sign) is often considered the mask one wears when meeting others. Perhaps it is most aptly thought of as the automatic responses to one's environment. The Ascendant shows our natural defenses and how we cope with day-to-day issues. The energies of the sign and condition of the Ascendant are most overt and obvious to others. The Ascendant shows an individual's first, natural reaction to new people and situations.

to calculate yours: http://www.astrologycom.com/ascalc.html

pauper to prince

well, we're definitely moving on up. from a tiny hallway closet to a spacious condo. living is now living.

except, being here is bittersweet. it's so still and quiet.. and far from the city life. don't get me wrong, i love having time to myself to reflect and recuperate from being around the hustle and bustle. but at the same time, it makes me feel very lonely. being an extrovert in long island city is gonna be hard!

i can see where luxury can bring a sort of emptiness inside. there's just too much space from here to there, with absolutely nothing and no one to fill it with....

my roommates have more options than i do. they have a special someone to run off with and hold them and tell them secrets and keep them warm during the harsh ny winter.... but me? my only retreat is here! where can i run off to? how warm could a teddy bear keep me?

alone... i've been single for a full year now? (and i'm pretty good at it too.) it's been so so so great. epic! but it is slowly dawning on me that i need something more... perhaps it's the oncoming autumn? i want a dog so badly... for warmth, companionship, and just something to take care of and bring me little bits of happiness each day. if i get a dog, i think i could stay single for a good 4 more years.
(dog > guy)
but then again... (guys=dogs)
so i will accept whichever side of the equation appears first...
hehe... just kidding. i want me a puppy.

zap!

My friend was telling me recently about the previous owner of zappos and how he ran his company in a way that promoted self-motivation and authentic passion from his employees.

In fact, zappos would pay you a lump sum (of $6,000?) if and when you left their company. This would ensure that those working for zappos believed in the mission statement and genuinely WANTED to be there. Even with that whopper of a carrot dangling in front of their faces, they chose to work rather than get free money.... Genius. why don’t more companies do this?

When it comes to relationships, I take a similar policy to zappos. I’ve grown more confident over the years, (perhaps as a direct result of my callousness) and I don’t see a need to be needy. If a (real) man wants to be with me, he will. So why worry that he might leave me for someone else? That would be to his total and utter detriment anyways…. Yes, I trust in my own worthiness, but I also give this hypothetical partner the benefit of the doubt that he recognizes the treasure that he has (ho ho ho). And if he doesn’t want it anymore, by all means; here are 6,000+ (very expensive) memories. Take them and go~

Live long and prosper!

tourist trap

new york, new york.

ah, the sound of their rounded a's pronounced as o's. the outward vocalization of every complaint and thought. the bangs of murses and brusque briefcases against my thighs.... i bask in it daily.

i'm slowly beginning to lose what little ounce of patience and manners i previously had and conform to the way of the old yorker.

the thing about big city folks is that they're misunderstood! it's not like they lack warmth or love. They're not mean people out to get you. They just know that the city runs smoother a certain way, and they project that way onto others who just aren't as experienced.

in fact, they can be very kind, affectionate... full of very tough love. just don't ever get in their way or stand on the left side of the escalator. be efficient and mindful and you're sure to get on their good side!

no time to be sensitive. just follow orders and do it their way or risk belittlement and ego tearing pain.

shape up or ship out.

viva la nueva york!

i [can't afford to] ♥ ny

one great thing about being away from home is missing everything about it and realizing how i've taken it all for granted...

an even greater thing is when home misses you!! (specifically parents) they're so nice to me! as if they have forgotten all the trouble i've ever caused... and i've caused my share of trouble... puhaha! what dummies!.... lovable, sentimental dummies!!

i should probaby feel bad about calling my parents when i need korean food recipes or to whine for more money... but i don't cuz i know they want to give give give cuz they misssss meeeeeeeee~~~~ ♥♡♥♡

i like to pretend i'm a big, independent city girl. but i admit i am far, faaaar away land from it. yes, call me childish and immature... and utterly dependent. but i ain't complainin'


....a part of me never wants to go back.
(a very big part of me!)

le cycle

for one reason or another, we've found ourselves returning to this place every weekend. most of the time it comes down to friends from out of town wanting a loud place to experience the NY night life. other times, it's an invitation by people we know in the second degree who just want girls to fill a space (and enjoy our company while we enjoy their fully paid in alcohol).

if i stopped there, i would only be scratching the surface of the matter. cuz there's always an underlying, deep rooted issue behind the things we do or do not do... right?

we choose circle over all the others in this vast city because it allows you a safe place to let loose, in the presence of those who have similar backgrounds and expectations, so you don't feel too uncomfortable. ( i.e. other koreans.)

but it basically boils down to a cheap thrill. when you're single, you unknowingly have an appetite for closeness, warmth, some sort of affection. i'm gonna be frank and say that girls just want to be held sometimes. whether it be by a friend at church, or by a random moderately attractive stranger in a loud nightclub... we just want to feel wanted. dun matta that it's only for 5 minutes. dun matta that it's too dark to even see our faces. it's the fast food"take whatever i can get" mentality. but at what point does it ever feel like enough? how far will we go to experience just a little bit of mutual attraction for the night? why the endless cycle of wasting perfectly good weekends, hoping to satiate a hunger that probably can never be satisfied? and what is the point? especially when others don't have such [innocent] intentions....which then leaves too much room for miscommunication which can lead to confusion and anger... shudder.

i think it's about time to give it all up and just be content.

for now.

saying goodbye to someone when the next hello is uncertain? it's the THE WORST. this is not a goodbye for now, see you soon! kind of bye, this is a i want to say to your face: freaking take care of yourself and don't do anything stupid or else many people will be pissed at you and you better come back safe!! kind of goodbye that you end up not being able to vocalize because your throat is all closed up from your eyes trying to eat up as much sight as it can and your brain trying to catalog those last moments into your permanent memory....... you know those kinds??

how can you not feel a teary eyed concoction of fuzzy sadness, worry, regret, disturbia... in those last fleeting moments?

Godspeed... a very buzz-lightning-Godspeed!

deal maker to deal breaker

when I was younger, i used to be able to find the good in everyone. and it used to be enough. but i find that as i get older, (wiser, jadeder, and more cynical in general), it's much easier to notice the bad qualities in people and let that judgment prevail.

when it came to guys, i was able to make deals with myself by seeing them through a blinded lense of youth and innocence. i was able to focus on only the attractive, unique, or good aspects of their personalities or looks, so other things didn't seem so important. e.g. he's such a good listener. he's very loyal....oh but his eyebrows are so dense and full of intellectual prowess...

now, i can only see through a microscopic lense that first finds faults and weaknesses in people.


10 years ago, if the dating game had been a game of Deal or No Deal, i would have opened maybe three shiny cases and succumbed to the banker on the other end of the line, satisfied with a mediocre package. but now, my greed and self absorption don't allow me to settle for any deals or for any cases, no matter how risky it seems to pass them up. instead, i deny myself opportunities, determined to win the biggest prize that I will allow myself to settle for.

the question is: is there enough behind all that silver to even satiate my growing greed? or will nothing make me happy?.....

i must be really bored.

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS - HOW DID YOU GET IT?
I have a bump on my lower lip cuz I was playing on a ramp and my fat head swung forward and my lip busted itself on the ramp and my mom was too cheap to stitches me… =(

2. WHAT ARE ON THE WALLS OF YOUR ROOM?
collages of a guy named James cuz we're subletting his place. haha. but the walls are close enough for a decent sized guy to hold himself up with his hands and feet… yeah. We live in a hallway room.

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
No. I’ve been told I smile in my sleep though…

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
music.

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
My mom’s water broke while eating a bowl of jja jang myun… must have been lunchtime.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
Stronger air conditioning!!

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
My dog being a puppy and sleeping on my lap… and i miss my gramma!!

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION?
Right now.. my smart phone cuz it saves my life everyday.

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
5' 1.5” ....don't hate!

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
no

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Sometimes...... i run through dark hallways.

12. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
Me.

13. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Not having a strong enough faith.

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
There are more things to worry about besides eye colour you crazy questionnaire!

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF GETTING ENGAGED?
in my mind..... haha jk. I don’t care as long as it is to a good man.

16. DO YOU PREFER COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
Tea.

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
me no likey pepperoni.

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Ice cold watah!

19. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?
blue.. green… aqua. oceany colors.

20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
What a waste of a good question.

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED?
my tiny little cross necklace from nathan alan... i lost it and i still miss it very much!!

22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?
Right now? Maybe…

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
No. I’m fat.

24. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
Forever 21 always gets me....

25. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE CELEBRITY?
go read my previous entries...

26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?
At home.. where I do not live! :(

27. WHAT KIND IS IT?
Maltese… she is probably really really fat now… I wonder if she will remember me when I return!?

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON WOULD LEAVE?
Can’t choose who ya love~

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED.
17.

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Depends, what’s their face look like?

32. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE?
"why does looking at animals covered in oil make me sad, but looking at animals covered in oil and deep-fried make me hungry?" - stephen colbert

33. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE?
Heaven.

34. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN OUTSIDE OF THE COUNTRY?
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

35. WHAT ARE YOUR WEAKNESSES?
i already told you.. i'm fat.

36. HAVE YOU EVER MET ANYONE WHO WAS FAMOUS?
Yes. who cares.

37. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST JOB?
Legal job? Never. haha

38. HAVE YOU EVER PRANK CALLED ANYONE?
All the time.

39. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOULMATE?
I hope so… I trust God is a good match maker.

40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT?
Reading jean’s answers. ^_^ hiii

41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
two words: wisdom teeth. three more: don't do it.

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ON MOST?
My fingernails color.

43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?
No. saved a lot of money too!

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Babies.

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? THEIR NAMES?
3 or 4. I don’t want to say cuz there are unintentional baby name stealers out there.. you know who you are! Or... i guess you don’t know who you are until you do it!! haha

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yes. Joy. The emotion my mother hoped I would bring to others. -_-

47. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF FROM THE OPPOSITE SEX?
1. ugly/annoying laugh or eating habits
2. timid and insecure
3. ditzy
4. mean or no sense of humor
5. not nice teeth/smile
6. skinny


48. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU LIKE(D) ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL?
cheer

49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
Back to my junior high herbal essences cuz everything else is so expensive!!!

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Only when I can read it

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Thinly sliced turkey.

52. DO YOU HAVE ANY BAD HABITS?
It’s all subjective....

53. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?
More possessive than jealous…

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
No doubt. but i'd be pretty annoyed by me. aahha

55. DO YOU AGREE WITH BEING FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?
Benefits… as in perks from work? Like getting 50% off??? then yes yes yes

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Attraction matters. Looks are subjective. but if you're a girl. yes. sorry but guys like pretty girls.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
Verbal vomit. write in a secret blog sometimes... Would prefer to beat a piñata with a bat…

58. WOULD YOU RATHER GAIN 58 POUNDS OR LOSE 58 POUNDS?
What kind of stupid question is this. Of course lose weight. I would be my ideal Korean weight if i lost 58 lbs!!??

59. WHAT'S YOUR MAIN GOAL IN LIFE?
to do more kingdom work & keep my eyes on the prize.

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
barbies... i still want that birthday barbie.

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
Who cares. It’s annoying me right now cuz i can't remove someone from my favorites!

62. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID?
No.

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Shut up.

64. DO YOU PREFER MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE?
I yam a potato girl.

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
1. True disciple of Christ.
2. 진심으로 착한 남자
3. loves his career
4. buff enough to carry me easily. sports. sports. sports.
5. great sense of humor... quick witted!
6. basically: more masculine than me in every way.
(srsly... not too much to ask.)

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Jo, jojomohosomojo, fatman, fatboy, 돼지

67. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE SUPERHERO?
Superman.

68. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
Modern family. The Simpsons. Mad men.

69. WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR ENEMIES?
Pray for them.

70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Haagen daz coffee

71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?
Yes.

72. DO YOU HAVE A COMPUTER IN YOUR ROOM?
I’m a mac now.

73. DO YOU HAVE ANY PLANS FOR TONIGHT?
Obviously not if I’m doing this. -_-

74. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WHEN YOU ARE OLDER?
Anywhere my husband has a good career.

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
Christina Aguilera – What A Girl Wants (don’t judge me, I’m in a 90’s mood tonite!) & jess’ laughter.

77. WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU DRANK?
Rice to riches – raisin rum flavor


78. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU SPOKE WITH ON THE PHONE?
Julie. I misdialed.

79. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
buff... tall with big shoulders.

80. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
Blog. Facebook. Buy groceries. (so sad, sad life I live)

81. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
Celebrities

82. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
All four, if they are true seasons.

83. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CANDY?
Melty blend chocolate.

84. HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND?
Jesus is my Homeboy.

85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
A very deep, dark brown… enough to be black.

86. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR?
A very deep, dark brown… enough to be black.

87. WHAT IS YOUR SHOE SIZE?
8.. shh don’t tell.

88. WHERE IS YOUR FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
Mcdonald’s always gets me.

89. WHERE IS YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT?
Right now: Kenka
At home: Roman Cucina

90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
No. i LOVE sushi.

91. DID YOU WATCH TV TODAY?
No. for I do not own one anymore :’(

92. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
Day before any Holiday.

93. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
Air guitar.

94. ARE YOU A REPUBLICAN OR A DEMOCRAT?
I stand for Republican economics and Democratic ideals.

95. DO YOU PREFER HUGS OR KISSES?
I like hugs. Kisses?? Tell me, what do they feel like???

96. DO YOU PREFER RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
I prefer two night stands (better lighting when you read a book in bed).

97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
Fruit. Lots and lots of fruit.

98. WOULD YOU EVER BE A HOUSEWIFE?
um.....WOULD I!?!??!?! …….i would cry a river of tears if i couldn't be a housewife.. then i'd pick myself up and go get a career. haha

99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
The Bible.

100. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE.
Invisible like Clay Aiken.

A+

what women want (so i'm told):
Attention
Affirmation
Affection
Adoration
... Affluence (bonus, hehe)

true friends club

upon a star...

*talents i wish i had

black & blue

ah, the age old dispute about who is the better superhero...

personally, Superman has and always will be the one. for me, it's not about who is the better crime fighter or who can win in a death match (which would probably be Superman anyways). rather, i look into the character and depth of their manhood.

even with his incomparable strength and talent, Clark Kent stays humble, meek, and morally upright. he is uniquely altruistic and has a kind & gentle heart... always helping those who are suffering. so self sacrificing... the fact that he has a detrimental weakness (the green rock) makes him even more endearing; more human and sincere. not to mention, he has amazing romantic timing whenever lois lane is in any trouble. and he only has eyes for her... ♡ (big plus that he can carry her forever and never get tired... and fly at the same time!!)

batman is too dark and brooding for my taste. and Bruce Wayne flaunts his riches and wealth for his haughty ego. what would he be without his money and techie toys? probably the above average douchey buff guy you see at the gym... and he's also got some major childhood trauma. can we say emotional baggage? does he even sacrifice anything for the woman he loves? who was it again? catwoman? poison ivy? some bad girl that is involved in a plot against him? psh, get your act together man.

juls has this ongoing theory that superman/coke lovers are simple traditionalists whilst batman/pepsi lovers are more hipsterish complicated folks. which, i have found to be true most of the time.

thank you silly poster...

나.
진짜
자존심 상했다....

i guess
this city is too big.
and i'm just too small....

silentregret.com

my life is officially a kdrama...
1. i have no family (here).
2. i have like, 2 friends.
3. i live in a corroding walk up building that smells like the French Renaissance... (ㅜ_ㅜ)
4. i work my heiny off at a vegan cafe for minimum wage
5. i will be tutoring a young asian boy with autism...
6. i cry... a lot.

BUT i don't recommend you watch this drama because:
1. there are absolutely NO love interests, (no rich, thoughtful, kind, selfless princes that come to a romantic, well timed rescue!)
2. just tons of frustrating situations
3. bad decisions that don't get resolved...
4. no shining inheritance whatsoever.
5. the main character is NOT super skinny, pale as the moon, pretty, cute, amusing, altruistic, or charming in the least. the main character is... dun dun dun.. humble, chubby, little ME!


.. but it still sounds kinda addicting doesn't it?? keke

hello.. good bye!

this past week has made me feel very odd. to think... nothing will ever be the same when i return.. not even me!

seeing friends for the last time and saying good bye made me feel as if i were going off into the arms of the grim reaper..

this is definitely a little death of some kind. the end of an era. movement away from all things of the past and progression towards a brighter future.

good bye childhood.
hello responsibility... and bills!
good bye california girl.
hello city chic chick!
good bye friends and family...
hello husband!
good bye comforts of home...
hello suffering and growth!
good bye naivety.
hello wisdom and discernment!
good bye hopes and dreams...
hello goals and successes!

good riddance, me!
and welcome, you!

it's just like...

some analogies i've been thinking about lately:

1) trying to fix your broken white out tape is like attempting to salvage a relationship. at first you're hopeful about fixing it cuz you think it's that simple. as time passes, you know you should just give up and throw it away cuz you're not getting anywhere, but then the time you already spent seems like a waste. so you continue on but know in the back of your head that it's a failed attempt. the longer you try, the more messed up and harder it gets to fix it. in the end, you just end up with sweaty armpits, a bad temper, a broke white out, and a useless relationship. next time, just quit early!!

2) being in love is just like being in pain. when you're in it, you're so deep in it that you can't focus on anything else. (that's the nature of love & pain.. an all engrossing, attention whore of a thing.) but when it's over, you completely forget what it felt like and you swear you've never been in it before!
2 a) i wonder if anyone has ever had their heart broken and 3 wisdom teeth pulled simultaneously... cuz that would really suck. or maybe if you fell in love while getting your wisdom teeth pulled, the two would offset each other and you would be in a state of limbo?? maybe your body would spontaneously combust!

3) searching for a new church is like searching for a spouse. it won't be perfect, but at the same time, it's gotta be juuuuust right. eeeek!

these are a few of my favorite things...

i began my mental and physical packing regimen today. and it's scaring me... the dreamy idea of living in the big city with my two best friends sounds so exciting, and daring, and refreshing, and grown up. but the reality of moving and creating a new life brings me back down to earth real quick....

where will we live? how big will it be? how much will it cost? wait, how will i pay for this? who will be our friends? what church will we attend? how will we get around? will we get lost? or worse, lost and then mugged? OH GAWT, WHAT WILL WE EAT?!?!?!

sigh. i always thought i was a minimalist.. or maybe i used to be. but somewhere along the line.. i started to become an evil pack rat!!! packing today reminds me how much i love my things. i love having my clothes. and colored pencils. and lotions. and potions. and dvds. and mittens. and pillows. millions of pillows. and lots of colorful hangers. and cute post-its. and nailpolishes. and shoes. and purses... and curling irons. and stuffed animals.. and AND et cetera!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what will i do when i have to leave all of this behind and begin a new? i need to detach myself from all of this junk immediately. oh! it hurts.... somebody take the pain away! or someone just come rob me while i'm not here....

gosh, i want to punch myself in the face! i need to get myself back to that canoe in the Black River in the middle of the Amazon when I had nothing... not even white water to drink. and i was so so content. just praying and praising God. and not worrying about what we would eat (which was nothing) or the (ugly mismatching) clothes on my back... i miss missions!!! i need more Jesus and less life....

1 John: 15-17

big fish in big apple

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord directs his steps. -Proverbs 16:9

Ecclesiastes 12

Remember Your Creator While Young

⁷ Light is sweet,
and it pleases the eyes to see the sun.

⁸ However many years a man may live,
let him enjoy them all.
But let him remember the days of darkness,
for they will be many.
Everything to come is meaningless.

⁹ Be happy, young man, while you are young,
and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth.
Follow the ways of your heart
and whatever your eyes see,
but know that for all these things
God will bring you to judgment.

¹⁰ So then, banish anxiety from your heart
and cast off the troubles of your body,
for youth and vigor are meaningless.

Be all that You can Be

These days, it's impossible to know whether I'm making decisions based only on what I want for myself. I have to constantly question if I am desiring and asking for God's voice to be heard.. Then I realize that no matter what I do, God always brings me back to where I should be.

As long as I can remember I've always liked singing. I grew up idolizing Mariah, but I never everland wanted to be a professional singer. I just wanted a chance to sing cuz I liked it so much. Recently, I found a perfect place for me to grow and utilize my gifts. Under the wing of Georgia Mike and on the sanctuary stage, I've found the most spiritual growth. Praise and worship is definitely the place where I feel most connected to God.

The other thing that I always wanted to do was play football. I used to run around on the blacktop squeezing my sucky self into lunch time games of flag football. The boys were probably annoyed as heck, but I just wanted to play so badly! I was beside myself when GNC's female turkeybowl team started playing in 2006. I realized that God really opens doors for us...

Lately, little things remind me of how I am getting older and that the people around me are getting married and with child. I don't feel rushed or pressured, but movies like The Blind Side remind me of my deepest desires and inner maternal instincts. Leigh Ann Tuohy is such a kick ass mom and a bad ass woman!!! Such a commanding presence with a big, generous heart. My new idol is a housewife. haha.. I remember in kindergarten, we were asked "What do you want to be when you grow up?" for our memory book. Other kids were saying, "Teacher, nurse, scientist, firefighter..." I am slightly ashamed but not surprised that my answer was, "I want to be a mommy!!.. etc. nonsensical 5 year old reasoning... etc." What can I do? God made me to be a very vocal, football playing, preggo ajumma!

Thinking about all of this just reminds me that God places us where we belong. He knows each of our hearts so well because He created each of us with our own talents and unique dispositions. We find ourselves having affinities towards specific people and specific things all for good reason. I have faith that if I am patient and trust the Lord... He will provide...

discovery

There, the Good Witch of the North, Glinda, advises Dorothy to follow the yellow brick road to the Emerald City and meet the Wizard of Oz, who can return her to Kansas. During her journey, she meets a Scarecrow, a Tin Man and a Cowardly Lion, who join her, hoping to receive what they lack themselves (a brain, a heart and courage, respectively).

I need myself a brain; a really big brain to study and receive my graduate diploma. You need yourself some heart; to be patient and loving in order to grow in all of your relationships, new and old. and You, darling, need you some courage to take on all the wonders of the city and learn to be even more independent woman!

We're off to see the wizard...

Toto....

there's no place like home....
there's nothing like the swooshy tailed greeting of your own dog..
nothing like the smell of your own room...
nothing like the privacy of your own space...
nothing like the comforts of your own korean kitchen...
nothing like the navigation of your own laptop...
nothing like the silly antics of your own parents...
nothing like the familiar flush of your own toilet...
nothing like the flutter of your own Bible pages...
nothing like the fluffiness of your firm bed...
and nothing like actually missing home enough to appreciate all of these things!

which is why i should leave more often.....

no fear.

i must say that i take pride in being a semi-brave person (team Gryffindor!) who doesn't have many fears. lots of girls i know can't stand spiders, snakes, cats, mousies, men....etc. i actually used to be scared of weirder things... but then i got over it.

i remember as a child, i used to fear dying a lot.... until i accepted Christ. on a canoe. in the middle of the black river. in the amazon. with my life flashing before my eyes. (now i find myself wanting to die young and fear growing really old... but that's another story for another day...)

oh and i used to fear going to the dentist because my teeth were really bad in the back and i didn't think he could ever fix them broken onez... then i realized that my messed up baby teeth were gonna fall out anyways.

and i used to be scared of dark hallways cuz my brother made me watch sightings with him late at night... but then i realized that i look better in the dark, so now i embrace the night like a vampire.

and i used to be scared of rollercoasters... more specifically, the Colossus. but then i grew a 6 pack and learned to use them to suppress the odd G force feeling in my stomach that was scaring me.

more recently i started to fear rejection, until i realized rejection is all too common and must be dealt with and not feared. now i just make tons of excuses for myself in order to deal...

i kinda still have a fear of dots, spots, eggs, and things in multitude... but i've gotten better at just suppressing the sickness and chills and goose pimples that i feel when i come into contact with these things. i just close my eyes real tight. and recently i have found more people who are scared too, so i feel like i'm part of a club.

today, i noticed that i have an unexplainable fear of ceiling fans. well... i only fear them when they are spinning really fast and when i have to pull the cord to make it stop spinning but it won't slow down and just keeps going faster and faster. it makes me feel really nauseated and scared and sweaty and out of control! after a while i can't look at the thing anymore and just keep pulling the cord with my head down... feeling that sense of doom in my pit of my stomach rise...... wondering when the torture will stop....

to each his own...

i realized that everyone has their own definition of good quality time... which translates into enjoying different ways of spending time with significant others~

for instance, one of my friends sees spending time on the phone and texting as mandatory in a relationship while another sees going out to museums, movies, fine dining, book signings, and a good ear cleaning/picking as mucho importante.

some of us really appreciate little sticky notes in random places, and funny picture text messages, while others of us love inside jokes posted on their facebook walls... or comments on their funny blog entries, or, ya know..... all of the above ;)

i, on the other hand, enjoy taking a stroll down the grocery store aisle with a namja on my arm and lots of food in my cart! and i really like having a default person to watch all my netflix with (cuz i'm cheap and i don't want to get dressed for the movies). lately though, begging my gfs to come over and watch random movies isn't working as well as it used to.... =I

bride of Christ

i thought of another kind of not exact, but pretty good analogy the other day during Pastor Jimmy's sermon:

becoming Christian is kind of like getting married. (wait! wait! let me explain)

When people walk up that aisle during a revival or a retreat, filled with emotion and the spirit, and decide to accept Jesus as Savior and Christ... it is something like that of a person walking up the aisle to that altar to commit their lives to someone they think they will love. (but don't really know.. or realize how much changing and compromising they will have to do.)

(btw, it has to be an arranged marriage because it has to be synonymous with GNC's belief of predestination and election. )

at first, both the Christian and the Groom believe in something truly and deeply. after the fact is when they realize that it doesn't end there. you have to walk back down the aisle and live your life according to the commitment you just made! until you DIE!

therefore, just as Christ followers must, and will naturally be transformed to become adopted into God's family and experience not only conversion but also sanctification, so the new bride or groom must and will change their selfish, single ways out of necessity and happiness for the marriage. both are arduous, exciting, disciplined, but joyous paths...

wait.. was that analogy an all too obvious one???? =/

donots

today, i was late to work because i had to stop for a box of donuts. 1 dozen. i am on my third now...

Lord help me..... =/



because i love donuts so so so much this week....

Berta Potts

Lord, why can't i just be a professional housewife? (minus the lifetime commitment and intimacy) why do i have to continue on through this drudgery that is graduate school.. and then enter the work force??

today, my boss asked me to go across to his unit and check on his laundry. so i did. i even folded his towels and matched his socks (even if he didn't ask me to). and of course (politely avoided his boxers... bleh~)

why can't we all just do what we LOVE and make money doing it???

maybe i could just be a Berta (Two and a Half Men):

the jolly large house keeper who shows tough love to the men in the house by cooking, cleaning, and making wise cracks about their bad decisions...


or maybe a Pepper Potts (Iron Man):

a professional grade personal assistant/secretary/maid who secretly loves her hott boss.

or a doubtfire....

my favorite childhood movie.
i love the silly, cool old hag so much!!


oh boy, how i would love my life....

steadfastness

the day i was most stressed by work, i heard the best sermon in the car on the way home. Francis really hit it home for me about learning to be steadfast. What he says:

Steadfastness is patience. Steadfastness is when you have a weight on you and you keep holding up that weight. It is endurance. We want to say; "God get rid of this weight so then I can just relax". But you don't persevere unless there is weight and pressure on you. And you want to quit when it gets more difficult. So most of us pray God, get rid of that weight. We don't pray asking for God to make our lives a little more difficult so that you could develop steadfastness.

why? because we care about our comfort far more than we care about our character. Most days we don't think about our character. we think i just want to be happy; hoping all our problems will go away. we get frustrated when something is going wrong because we aren't thinking about how it will build us into more Godly, more steadfast people with strong character.

God wants us to be Holy. He wants us to be this steadfast person. Instead of being frustrated at hardship, if we were really concerned about character we could obey James 1: consider it all joy when you encounter these trials. here is an opportunity to get stronger.


We rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. - Romans 5:3-4

let's snuggle

Pastor Jay mentioned last night that he always refers to sports analogies because everything in life can be explained through sports. at that moment i thought that, for me, anything and everything in life can be made analogous to human relationships.

i find myself writing about relationships between friends, family, and dating. but how often do i assess and write about my intimate relationship with God our Father? (not much, spank me.)

so today i snuggled with Jesus. (no... not a buff latino guy. i mean God) But I really spent time in my bed, wrapped in the warmth of my blanket talking to God. I thought, how easy is it to set aside time to do this everyday? Easy enough! If Jesus was my boyfriend, he would be pretty mad that I don't spend much intimate time with him like this. We would probably have broken up by now... or found others to emotionally lean on (cheat on with)... NG! not good at all....

My goals:
1. more intimate snuggle time with God (prayful life)
2. more reflecting on the Word (reading + sermon listening)
3. finishing up all the reading for Leadership Bible studies
4. taking importance away from meaningless things (fb/twitter/k-pop)

i must say, i am actually really excited for these coming changes in the next few weeks..


파이팅 to all of us who are in preparation for Resurrection Sunday!

mad skillz

so my boss usually has me do normal life things for him at work.. such as going to the deli for a pastrami sandwich, or taking his dog out to pee/poo. he recently introduced me to playing catch with his yellow lab using this big sack toy, good for throwing (since they are soft-mouthed dogs meant to retrieve birds).

today i threw the toy too high and it got stuck in a tree... i was panicking and looking around for a really big ladder... i was even tempted to wave down the firetruck that was nonchalantly driving by at that moment... but then. it struck me. all my training was finally going to pay off!!

i ran to my car for that official NFL football sitting in the trunk and unleashed my skillz to knock the toy back down to earth. success! (i was so very excited that a masculine fist pump escaped from within me)

Hallelujah! our coaches would be proud....