no fear.

i must say that i take pride in being a semi-brave person (team Gryffindor!) who doesn't have many fears. lots of girls i know can't stand spiders, snakes, cats, mousies, men....etc. i actually used to be scared of weirder things... but then i got over it.

i remember as a child, i used to fear dying a lot.... until i accepted Christ. on a canoe. in the middle of the black river. in the amazon. with my life flashing before my eyes. (now i find myself wanting to die young and fear growing really old... but that's another story for another day...)

oh and i used to fear going to the dentist because my teeth were really bad in the back and i didn't think he could ever fix them broken onez... then i realized that my messed up baby teeth were gonna fall out anyways.

and i used to be scared of dark hallways cuz my brother made me watch sightings with him late at night... but then i realized that i look better in the dark, so now i embrace the night like a vampire.

and i used to be scared of rollercoasters... more specifically, the Colossus. but then i grew a 6 pack and learned to use them to suppress the odd G force feeling in my stomach that was scaring me.

more recently i started to fear rejection, until i realized rejection is all too common and must be dealt with and not feared. now i just make tons of excuses for myself in order to deal...

i kinda still have a fear of dots, spots, eggs, and things in multitude... but i've gotten better at just suppressing the sickness and chills and goose pimples that i feel when i come into contact with these things. i just close my eyes real tight. and recently i have found more people who are scared too, so i feel like i'm part of a club.

today, i noticed that i have an unexplainable fear of ceiling fans. well... i only fear them when they are spinning really fast and when i have to pull the cord to make it stop spinning but it won't slow down and just keeps going faster and faster. it makes me feel really nauseated and scared and sweaty and out of control! after a while i can't look at the thing anymore and just keep pulling the cord with my head down... feeling that sense of doom in my pit of my stomach rise...... wondering when the torture will stop....

to each his own...

i realized that everyone has their own definition of good quality time... which translates into enjoying different ways of spending time with significant others~

for instance, one of my friends sees spending time on the phone and texting as mandatory in a relationship while another sees going out to museums, movies, fine dining, book signings, and a good ear cleaning/picking as mucho importante.

some of us really appreciate little sticky notes in random places, and funny picture text messages, while others of us love inside jokes posted on their facebook walls... or comments on their funny blog entries, or, ya know..... all of the above ;)

i, on the other hand, enjoy taking a stroll down the grocery store aisle with a namja on my arm and lots of food in my cart! and i really like having a default person to watch all my netflix with (cuz i'm cheap and i don't want to get dressed for the movies). lately though, begging my gfs to come over and watch random movies isn't working as well as it used to.... =I

bride of Christ

i thought of another kind of not exact, but pretty good analogy the other day during Pastor Jimmy's sermon:

becoming Christian is kind of like getting married. (wait! wait! let me explain)

When people walk up that aisle during a revival or a retreat, filled with emotion and the spirit, and decide to accept Jesus as Savior and Christ... it is something like that of a person walking up the aisle to that altar to commit their lives to someone they think they will love. (but don't really know.. or realize how much changing and compromising they will have to do.)

(btw, it has to be an arranged marriage because it has to be synonymous with GNC's belief of predestination and election. )

at first, both the Christian and the Groom believe in something truly and deeply. after the fact is when they realize that it doesn't end there. you have to walk back down the aisle and live your life according to the commitment you just made! until you DIE!

therefore, just as Christ followers must, and will naturally be transformed to become adopted into God's family and experience not only conversion but also sanctification, so the new bride or groom must and will change their selfish, single ways out of necessity and happiness for the marriage. both are arduous, exciting, disciplined, but joyous paths...

wait.. was that analogy an all too obvious one???? =/

donots

today, i was late to work because i had to stop for a box of donuts. 1 dozen. i am on my third now...

Lord help me..... =/



because i love donuts so so so much this week....