muddy

sometimes i genuinely wonder if it is the enemy taking something so pure and beautiful and real, and turning it into a selfish, indulgent, ravenous monster of a thing. 

how evil the enemy is for his dedication to perversion. 

In you, O Lord, do I take refuge; let me never be put to shame; in your righteousness deliver me! ....Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord! - Psalm 31

Persevere

"The book of Hebrews is an invitation to the Christian steward to persevere until the day that will bring the culmination of God's redemptive story. It will be a day when God's people can cease working, struggling and sacrificing, and instead rest in God's holy presence. But for now, the steward's calling is to keep on keeping on in obedience to the Word - the obedience of faith in the One who has led them out of slavery to sin. It means persevering, even though the work is hard and the way is sometimes shrouded in mist. It requires effort, as Hebrews 4:11 tells us. Expository preacher and Bible commentator Albert Barnes comments: "Let us labor therefore. Let us earnestly strive. Since there is a rest whose attainment is worth all our efforts; since so many have failed of reaching it by their unbelief; and since there is so much danger that we may fail of it also, let us give all diligence that we may enter into it. Heaven is never obtained but by diligence, and no one enters there who does not earnestly desire it, and who does not make a sincere effort to reach it."

Author Eugene H. Peterson writes that the reason we can persevere is because God sticks with us. God sticks to his relationship. He establishes a personal relationship with us and stays with it. The central reality for Christians is the personal, unalterable, persevering commitment God makes to us. Perseverance is not the result of our determination; it is the result of God's faithfulness. We survive in the way of faith not because we have extraordinary stamina but because God is righteous, because God sticks with us. Christian discipleship is a process of paying more and more attention to God's righteousness and less and less attention to our own; finding the meaning in our lives not by probing our moods and motives and morals, but by believing in God's will and purposes; making a map of the faithfulness of God, not charting the rise and fall of our enthusiasms. It is out of such a reality that we acquire perseverance.

This is what the writer of the New Testament letter to the Hebrew Christians did. He sang a litany of people who lived by faith, that is, people who centered their lives on the righteous God who stuck by them through thick and thin so that they were able to persevere. They lived with uncommon steadiness of purpose and with a most admirable integrity. None of them lived without sin. They all made their share of mistakes and engaged in episodes of disobedience and rebellion. But God stuck with them so consistently and surely that they learned how to stick with God."

What Must I Lose?

       "We admit and raise to hero status those who give up everything for the kingdom. The movie Amazing Grace depicts the sacrifices William Wilberforce (1759-1833), an English Member of Parliament and social reformer, made in working to end the slave trade in Great Britain. He was ready to sacrifice his position, his career, his health and his friendships as he fought the political and economic status quo that made many rich and prosperous while causing unspeakable human suffering. He persevered through all the discouragement and seeming futility and saw it to the end because of his devotion to Christ.

         However much we are stirred and inspired by the courage and example of those who sacrifice so much for the kingdom, it gives us pause to ponder what might be exacted of us. When confronted with a drastic sacrifice, we want to find some way around it. We count the cost and try to guess the gain. And count again. But Jesus is very clear here. Anyone who is a follower of Christ may be called to relinquish control of life, possessions, career, traditions and more. Sacrifice cannot remain an abstract concept.

        What does losing your life look like? For each of us the answer may be different; for some, such as missionary Jim Elliot, it does mean martyrdom. But many of us must 'lose our lives' on a daily basis. We sacrifice our time and talent and subject our vocations to Jesus' imperatives. We sacrifice the right to enjoy money and possessions any way we please. We are called to sacrifice to Christ's lordship our very thoughts and desires, our fears and foibles, and let him transform us into his image. We must be willing to sacrifice anything that we value as essential to 'life' as we know it when Jesus has asked these things of us. Discipleship and stewardship in the kingdom require total allegiance. It's a steep price to pay, but with eternity in the balance, it's a great deal. The journal entry from Jim Elliot is often quoted but worth repeating, 'He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.' "

HJ

"There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you—of kindness and consideration and respect—not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had."-John Steinbeck

"When over the years someone has seen you at your worst, and knows you with all your strengths and faults yet commits him- or herself to you wholly, it is a consummate experience. To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us." -Tim Keller