the core

i've heard horror stories about college roommates who left cheese and fruit to mold in their fridges through the winter break and then just ended up throwing out the whole fridge come summer. apparently, nobody wanted to man up and deal with the moldy mess. it's gross how we let decay creep up on us, right?

well, this week i succumbed to the delicious ripened smell of fresh strawberries. julie bought them for me from the fruit man :) although i'm normally good at putting groceries away, this time i just let them sit on the table. (why? i don't even know!)

one day later, i saw a bit of mold on a few strawberries :( well, instead of washing and picking the healthy ones free from badly influenced ones, i put the whole container in the fridge and let them continue to fester.

today, i decided this could not go on. so i put them in a colander and assessed the damage. well gadzooks, for the love of strawberries! i immediately felt regret at my procrastination. as i could have saved so many more healthy, delicious, red strawberries from the cruel and unusual punishment of a slow rot. i tried to save some with only slight superficial damage, but alas, the stubborn decay had penetrated deeply into the core of the berry. they could not be saved....

lessons learned:
1) never procrastinate the process of storing and keeping foods in a cool, dry place. (mother nature is merciless)
2) we are like fruit. inner decay spreads quickly if not dealt with at first signs of symptoms. our cores are easily susceptible to growing bitterness and rot, even when exterior appearances look fresh as berries (pun intended).

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. - Ephesians 6:12

true love

"Thermodynamic miracles... events with odds against so astronomical they're effectively impossible, like oxygen spontaneously becoming gold..... Until your mother loves a man she has every reason to hate, and of that union, of the thousand million children competing for fertilization, it was you, only you, that emerged. To distill so specific a form from that chaos of improbability, like turning air to gold... that is the crowning unlikelihood. The thermodynamic miracle."

-Mr. Manhattan

I always remember that quote from Watchmen when I think of conception and birth.... about how crazy it is that two people can love each other and with one act, they can create human life. Miracle! is the only word to describe it. man, God is so artsy fartsy. 

As I held a one-week old infant yesterday, i realized for the first time what the weight of this "miracle" feels like. I couldn't stop staring at him in wonder and awe. How can a human being be so tiny and so shamelessly dependent? Nehemiah is the physical, living and breathing manifestation of love and life-long covenant.  He is being entrusted to his parents, to care for him and fill him up with knowledge and values, etc...

This reminded me about who God is and who I am in relation. God is the benevolent father. I am the creation, completely reliant on Him. (I should relearn that infant-like shamelessness.) And God's true love for us was manifested in the birth of Jesus Christ. He was a symbol of God's forgiveness, peace, generosity, redemption, salvation!

If I (not his mother by any means) can be so pleased at holding this newborn in my arms then how pleased is our God with our birth -our lives? (And yet, how much more can we do to please our Lord and Savior? So much more....)

Sometimes things all start to make sense...

then I lose that rare moment of enlightment.

The world is crazy.

the "baker's wife"

when i was a little girl, i wanted an easy-bake-oven.

of course, i never got one. instead i had pots, pans, and cooking spoons shoved at me at an early age. i learned how to make spaghetti, kimchi-jjigae, fried rice... etc. survival foods for the latchkey-kid & her older brother. psh, no time for baking or desserts, such a luxurious lifestyle!

looking back, i think it was the illusion of being feminine, blonde, and perfect that i clung to more so than the baking itself... and i always envied those white kids who came to school with beautifully wrapped holiday cookies & chocolates they had made the night before with their stay-at-home mothers...

nowadays, i figure i should be grown up and womanly. i cannot carry on with these childish box-cake ways. thus, i've begun a journey into the mysterious and scientific world of American baking. it's fun, delightful, and stress-reducing! [except when my homemade breads don't rise and my chocolate chip cookies turn out rock hard... ] but i have hope!

hello to cookies and cakes and bread galore!
(friends, prepare to loosen a notch on your belts! )

i am, after all, an award-winning "Baker's Wife" ^_~

all you need is love... and measuring cups!

happy st. patty's


NSSLHA bake sale, here i come!

please don't snicker at my snickerdoodles~

eggs

Happy Easter!

it's the thought that counts~

growing up, i don't recall ever really receiving gifts from my parents.... or having a big party thrown for me. i always got an envelope with money in it. (don't judge the parenting, it's a cultural difference).

but i do remember that ONE year. the year that i had become quite obsessed with the Backstreet Boys. (every moment they were on mtv, my best friend and i would stand next to our VCRs and hit the RECORD button!) on my 15th birthday, my mom let me have a few friends sleep over. she cooked us korean dinner and even had a gift for me! (nevermind that she probably had her assistant go out and find it, buy it, wrap it). i had low expectations.... that were at once heightened by a cute "Happy St. Patrick's Birthday" card! how thoughtful and particular to me! then..... rip open gift wrapping to.... [insert: MACHU PICHU-like yell here]..... 2 video tapes! legit, store-bought BSB Concert videos! right then, i knew what all the hula-buloo around children's birthday parties was. i never felt so special, cared about, understood, and loved, like i did at that moment. i felt happy to be BORN. haha. and at that moment, all those years of resentment towards my mom at refusing my Birthday Barbie requests flew out the window.

this is how i explain my deepest appreciation for giving and receiving presents. no matter how little or how unimportant a gift may seem to you- to me, it says that you appreciate me, that we're close, and that you're thinking of me :")

*next time, i'll share the story about how Julie (unintentionally) came to be my favorite (that year) and yes, this story involves a very intricately planned array of secret santa Christmas gifts. hee hee!