santa baby

dear santa,

i normally don't ever want anything for christmas, (but you know how it is when you have no one to give you presents, you suddenly want so many things!) so this year i decided to try writing a childish letter of request a try.... excuse the lateness but this is what i think i want and what i know i need!


because i can't reach anything in my closet! my calves hurt from jumping for my robe everyday. please have pity on my smallness =/


because i want a really cool/clever clock for my cool/clever room!



a cute 2010 planner because mine is running out of months!!



because i saw this yoshiblade infomercial and now i want to cut things with it! i promise to cook more if i have this awesome knife!!



.... i would like this exact oufit. so i can wear it every year on christmas. and frolic in the snow. oh, and i would like to look like that too. body and face. thx!


and lastly, just wanted to throw in a luxury item that i know you (or i) can't afford, but thought i'd give it a try cuz i been a real good girl this year!!


p.s. if all i get is lumps of coal, i'm gonna come after you old man!!

my last will & testament

if i ever happen to unexpectedly leave this earth:

i would like to bequeath all of my belongings firstly to jessica & julie. they may take apart anything and everything and duke it out amongst themselves. they have first dibs on all of my clothes, make up, and room's furnishings. they may visit and sleep in my bed ever so often... or just live in my room if they want (although it might be kind of creepy after my untimely death...)

Anyone who wants it may have a gah we, bah we, bo tournament for my macbook. But, they must keep a picture of me as their desktop background... muhaha

please give all of my books to the college students that need them. i have tons of them. the magazines can go to the next bride to be from church.

oh! and also, please return all of my library books, as i do not want to take overdue fees to the grave.

please give my healthy organs to whoever needs them most. preferably to someone with much youth and little monetary funds. *give my heart to someone who'll take good care of it!!

oh, and don't go through any of the memory boxes in my closet. i look ugly and fat in those pictures. and i sound stupid in those letters/cards. please just throw them away or burn them... i don't even know why i keep so many things from my past. i should burn them myself asap.

give my car to my brother... or one of my younger cousins. they can do what they want with it for all i care!

all of my savings and $$ can be given to my mother to pay for my funeral fees. although, i do not want to waste $$$ on flowers or a fancy wake thing. i'm gone. let me go. cremate me and throw my ashes in the pacific ocean. or.... just throw a huge party with an open bar so everyone can have fun and spend the whole night telling stories (about me and my awesomeness of course!). send a mass facebook invitation to all my "so-called" fb friends to see who actually comes! it would be kind of like the wedding i always wanted... but for me and Jesus!

it would be kind of cool for one of my best friends to write me an obituary in the paper... hint hint!

please delete and deactivate all of my email/fb/blog sites. cuz thats seriously a creepy reminder of someone who once was. (i believe jess/julie know my password.)

thank you. that is all.


here's to a long life hoping this will never gets used!!

time is tickin'~

these days, i've been going to sleep without setting an alarm (yay for vaca!!) but when i wake up in the morning, i feel so disoriented because i don't have a sense of time. then i realized that i really need a clock in my room! then i looked online and there are so many cute ones... but why are clocks so expensive??? oh! it's because they are like little treasures that hold tons of big secrets of all the things they've seen in a room...



i absolutely love this! i used to love cuckoo clocks when i was young. remember the ones everyone had? the little people would go around and music would play? i would sit there and watch every single hour... cuckoos make me feel so nostalgic....



i like this because it's cute. like a 5th grade art project... however, i don't like it b/c it makes me feel like a teacher. and i don't ever want to be a teacher ever again.



i know it's kinda ugly.. but ever since that super funny got milk commercial (where she finds out her ring is really a cubic??!!) i've always wanted this in my kitchen! so the cat's eye can follow me around... hehe



this is just adorable.... i would go to sleep with a smile on my face. and count sheep! (although i would only make it to sheep #4...)


oh dear, how i love all things naturally nautical. one day, when i am old and rich, i will sail around the world with my handsome salt & peppery haired husband in a little yacht and wake up to this clock every morning and be sooo happy~!



this one is just silly, but kinda cheesy and cute. i can never not like mermaids...


who knew my quest to find the perfect clock for my room would take me on a stroll through memory lane?? i guess i really do love clocks!!
^_^

freeeedom...

TO DO after finals week:

1. finally watch 500 days of summer
2. go to target many, many times
3. spends hours at the gym every. single. day.
4. plan & prepare house for parties to be thrown.
5. spend hours doing my nails.
6. read tons of books that i have on hold at the library.
7. watch a million netflix dvds to make up for 3 months of wasting it..
8. video chat every night. (guilt freee)
9. research airplane tickets~
10. finish and send out my grad school applications!!!!


i can't waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!

beneficiaries

Last week Pastor Jimmy gave a good sermon about seeing people for who they are, through the eyes of God. sermon here.

He mentioned how these days, everyone is out for themselves; especially when it comes to relationships with others. People want to be around those that they benefit from.... that they receive what they need from. (How sad is it that I have been on both receiving ends of that???) He even mentioned how some girls only hang out with girls who are uglier than them, so that they feel good about being pretty in comparison (talk about vanity, gosh!)

Anyways... that got me thinking about the company that i choose to keep... And I conclude that my friends are generally more attractive and awesomer than me. so much so that i find myself always telling people (i.e. guys): "oh yeah, yeah they're holler for sure". meaning, yes, you will find them attractive inside and out. but they ain't no hollaback girls, if you know what i mean...

now, when i think about my two bestest best friends... it simply comes down to this: I genuinely believe Jes is a better version of the person that I am, and Juls is a better version of the person I wish I could be. this is probably why we're gonna be life long friends. hee hee ( i feel so gaycheesy right now...)


<3

cuddle closer - it's non negotiable

ah, rainy days. cause rainy hearts...

i realized today that i haven't been (unconditionally) single in the month of december since.... 2001? wow. i guess my heart always had something going on....

but this winter of 2009, i stand alone. and i am colder and wiser. (literally & figuratively)

so, in lieu of a nice cozy, romantic winter entry, i will write about what cozy, romantic ideas i have about the next person that comes into my life (hopefully by next winter so i won't freeze my heart out).

GAM non-negotiables:
1. true disciple. (with a true walk)
2. trustworthy & honest. (does what he says and says what he does.)
3. genuinely good hearted. (it hurts for him to hurt others...)
4. assertive/mindful/considerate. (good noonchi & high emotional intelligence)
5. passionate. (about something worthy.. and hopefully makes mad $$$ doing it.. hee hee~)
6. giving. (in all ways, but esp. with quality time and emotional sharing)
7. same sense of humor (please?)
8. devoted (eyes wholly on me) & protective ( like a doberman/rottweiler mix~)
9. socialized (no cavemen allowed!).. but not flirty.

not too much to ask i dare say...

let's have faith that this exists out there somewhere... =/

happy winter!

send some guidance from above

it's so sad because after my dog got an ugly hair cut, i don't really love her anymore. haha.

i was looking back on my previous posts and saw the one i wrote about her first night at my house. man, she was so cute then! and i liked her so much. it just goes to show, never let looks guide your heart.. -_-

that sounds really shallow, i know. but it's not just the way she looks on the outside, i just don't really know her anymore!

i guess that's why quality time is so important in relationships, even if its one with an animal...

oh yeah, and external upkeep is important too! through this experience, i have made a new promise to myself that if i ever get married, i'm not going to just let myself go into super ajumma status. i know i had previously taken great joy in planning to do this, but now i realize presentation, (even to your own husband), is kind of very necessary....

back to the topic of Ooyoo... i'm not being fickle about my affections. things have just changed! she has changed! we don't even know each other anymore! she keeps barking at me when i come into the house! and then i chase her with a rolled up newspaper for being annoying, but on a deeper level, for hurting my feelings....

sigh.

where is the love?

the 5 languages

my love language tells me a lot about the way i function as a person and in relationships with others....

i never read the book, but i've been discussing this l.l. business with a lot of people lately and i've come to many conclusions.

[i know i talk about myself a lot, but seeing as how this is my reflective blog and only 2 people in the world read it besides me, it's my prerogative!!!]

so the way that i feel loved & appreciated by others is:
1. acts of service (because actions speak louder than words sometimes)
2. words of affirmation (because you still need to hear those words).
3. quality time (the key word being quality. sharing and connecting. because when people spend their precious time on you, you know they give a rip!)

the way that i show my love & affection to others is... through too many ways. i tried so hard to narrow it down to only two but i absolutely cannot! i know myself too well i guess...

1. acts of service. (you care when you do, even when you don't want to.)
2. touch. (i must have been south american in another life because i have to hug and hold my friends to show my affection!! the natural urge is too great, so i don't even fight it anymore)
3. gifts. ( i can't stop myself from buying things that remind me of people or jotting notes in my head about things that people say they want or need...it brings me joy~)
4. words of affirmation. ( i like to let people know that i appreciate them for their talents. giving genuine compliments makes both parties happy~)

so yeah...

what's your love language?
<3

for reals

genuine.

the word of the month... or, since it's december now, the word of the finishing year.

i think the word has lost some of its meaning as a result of its shallow use in media and advertising, but it's got a great depth to it.

i once took the eharmony questionnaire for fun (and self discovery) and the one question that took me longest to answer was the one that asked me to pick three of the words from this list that describes you are best. [i tend hate these types of questions because i feel it limits me as a person and when it comes to explaining myself, it's never simple.] but i came out of that inner dilemma convicted that "genuine" was one of the words that represents me. after a bit of reflection i really think its something that is organic. surprisingly, people still tend to respond to authenticity~

and when i end a letter with "Sincerely" i only use that word if i really meant what i said in the body of the message. other times, i just right "Best regards" or "-name". i don't like using sucha sincere word unless i am being totally real. and i wish others would stop tainting the mean of these words for the sake of etiquette or looking good, gosh.

i also decided that the people i click with or see a potential for clicking with are those that i can smell the genuine draft from. i tend to gravitate away from insincerity. but doesn't everybody? actually, no, i guess they don't. all i know is, no to faux!

genuine.
true.
unfeigned.
sincerely felt or expressed.
being or reflecting the essential or genuine character of something.

now, doesn't that bring just a smile to your heart??

license to drive

i had a great night spending quality time with myself today. just me, my hammer, ikea dresser (52 inches tall, mind you), and francis chan. for 4 stinkin' hours~

the best thing i heard all night that i wanted to share with my blogger world (population: 3)-

the sermon was "Priorities Part 1" and the analogy was that on the road of life, you often drive the car. when you're driving, you're in control. then somehow you hear about Jesus. you realize, wait, i need Jesus and his cross! I can accept Him in my life because it's what i need. So you go and pop the trunk open for Him and say, Climb in Jesus! I'll let you know when i need you. then you get in a jam, maybe a flat tire, and pop the trunk open again and expect God to get out and fix the problem. you call him Lord and Master, but what you really want is a slave because it's all about your needs and when. .

Others think they are better off because they invite God into the passenger seat. i still go where i want and when, but can you just keep me company? let's have a real relationship God, but it's all good because i'm still in control. i get to drive.

Instead, it should be like this. "God, you drive. I'll sit in the passenger seat. Where do YOU want to go? What are your priorities? Let me follow you. Let me serve you". Francis says that when we allow God to be the Lord of our lives, that is when he comes in and takes us on journeys that we would never have gone to without Him. we can start finding fulfillment in this relationship because we are being lead by God and His commands; His will; His way.

i just thought it was a great explanation of how we deal with the power of Christ in our lives sometimes... in the bad kind of way.