plz change.

this is just a suggestion to all of those blogspotters that i religiously follow:

please change your settings so that commenting is quicker and easier!! when i'm leaving something stupid for you, my snickering gets cut short by that word verification thing... what a buzz kill... its an option that can be turned off my friends!!

go here:


and click NO:


thanks. i promise to leave more comments for you! hehe

banana rama ding dong

why oh why does it have to be so difficult to get into shape?? why can't it be attractive and sexy to be pudgy and slightly overweight!?

i'm sure girls were saying the same thing 1000 years ago, but in reverse: "why oh why does it have to be so hard to find food and eat and get fat?!why can't it be attractive and sexy to be underweight and slightly starved?! "

with that said, i am soooo committing food pron right now. yes. i am eating a banana while flipping through pictures of porto's danishes and desserts... oh my good Lord almighty, cream pan who are you and why??!

sigh.

when will you be eaten by me portos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
when!!!!!


oh dear Jesus, Mary, Joseph, save me from my own gluttonous heart!!!


um....baker, will you marry me??
...and then fill my pregnant belly with your baked goods!!???

ovary explosion.

Why Tim Tebow is a rare treasure of a man...
(super + that he fits all of my non-negotiables):


1. the man knows how to pray.


2. the man loves children & missions abroad.


3. the man loves to laugh!



4. the man knows how to say NO to the ladies.


5. the man can throw a football. (very necessary~)



6. the man is basically a caveman.



7. the man can carry this fatman, therefore he can carry me.
(and spin me on his finger like a pizza)


8. the man is willing to sacrifice himself.



9. the man knows his Bible. and boasts only of Christ! oh the humility!


10. who cares so much about why he's not the greatest offensive QB in the NFL... look at all of his other attributes!

and if he will have me, i am willing to make an exception for his younger than me age... but only because he is twice my weight (245 lbs!!), 10 times holier (Scriptural eye blacks), and 1000 times better at football than me (88 TD's!).

Tebow makes ovaries weep... 

and marriage so sweet!

A Time for Everything

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8


Haiti, hold on to hope!!!

give more gifts!

as i am someone who loves having options, i don't get why people think giving gift cards is such a bad idea as a token or appreciation or love?

some say that it's very thoughtless and a cop out gift, but i say nay! firstly, a gift card is a ticket to freedom and happiness! tis much better than receiving a useless gift! and tis more thoughtful than cash, i suppose. but i don't know anyone who would complain or refuse cash...

i feel great pleasure when i am at the check out line and i can slide my fresh target gift card for a mini shopping spree!!! even if i end up purchasing more unnecessary thing than usual.... free cookies and cereal and nailpolish, oh my! or knowing that my Nordstrom's beauty products will be taken care of for the next season is awesome too! i guess the trick then, is to getting the right gift card for the right person...

i'm a super practicalist when it comes to receiving. i prefer not to get cards or flowers as expressions of love because staring at withering flowers is just depressing and reminds me of the transience of life in general; and cards are only funny when read the first time. pretty much, all useless to me. (i believe words of affirmation are enough to satiate my hunger for affection. besides, words are cheaper and can last an infinite amount of time!) i don't even like to waste money on wrapping gifts when it's just going to get torn up and thrown away...

i do, however, try to consider that others might really enjoy receiving cards or flowers or watever... because i can't force my personal standards on others, now can i? so, please, do inform me if you love the blabber written in cards, or enjoy freshly cut flowers from jia's jia's florist. i will do my best to accommodate to your happiness. :)

tiger

this year, i will not let anything hold me down.
this year, i will not let anyone hold me back.
not even me...




twenty. ten.
we've been waiting for you~


Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

amber - 311

What is friendship?

i've been exploring this idea in the fleeting months of 2009 and i think i've come close to an answer... friendship is pretty much an all encompassing kind of relationship between people. it's a mix of little bit of dating, a lotta bit of family, a little bit of co-workers, and a little bit of marriage all rolled up into one. i realized recently that for a truly healthy and committed friendship, it takes amazing amounts of affirmation, affection, appreciation, change, effort, time, compromise, understanding, selflessness, forgiveness, and love....

i'm not trying to boast or show off (can't help it if you feel envious though), i must wholeheartedly admit that i am grateful for my two best friends. (and yes, the best is very necessary). and although we have our little stints and moments of frustration with each other, i know that we're in it to win it! home run!!! take it all the way to the bank!!! hibachi!! (k, you get the point...)

it makes my heart so glad knowing that we can adjust, change, and be accommodating to stay a part of each other's lives. (as we get older, it's really hard to stay in touch with people and the numbers dwindle to a handful. am i right??) we share in each other's struggles, no matter how big or how small. we share in each other's successes and joys! we rebuke each other. we really love and accept each other wholly....

wait.... do i even need to make an effort to find a husband at this point? writing this makes me realize that instead, my efforts should be in keeping other men from coming in and stealing these two away from me! my gawd, i've been playing the wrong field this whole time!!

so back to my point.... i believe what we have is singley unique. we 3 are a real tripod. therefore: my next idea is that we should have a lil wedding to make our life-marriage official. hahah! or can we at least cut a cake on a special day each year so we can remind ourselves of this commitment??

2010. you are going to be a great, great year.


♥, julsjesjoys

santa baby

dear santa,

i normally don't ever want anything for christmas, (but you know how it is when you have no one to give you presents, you suddenly want so many things!) so this year i decided to try writing a childish letter of request a try.... excuse the lateness but this is what i think i want and what i know i need!


because i can't reach anything in my closet! my calves hurt from jumping for my robe everyday. please have pity on my smallness =/


because i want a really cool/clever clock for my cool/clever room!



a cute 2010 planner because mine is running out of months!!



because i saw this yoshiblade infomercial and now i want to cut things with it! i promise to cook more if i have this awesome knife!!



.... i would like this exact oufit. so i can wear it every year on christmas. and frolic in the snow. oh, and i would like to look like that too. body and face. thx!


and lastly, just wanted to throw in a luxury item that i know you (or i) can't afford, but thought i'd give it a try cuz i been a real good girl this year!!


p.s. if all i get is lumps of coal, i'm gonna come after you old man!!

my last will & testament

if i ever happen to unexpectedly leave this earth:

i would like to bequeath all of my belongings firstly to jessica & julie. they may take apart anything and everything and duke it out amongst themselves. they have first dibs on all of my clothes, make up, and room's furnishings. they may visit and sleep in my bed ever so often... or just live in my room if they want (although it might be kind of creepy after my untimely death...)

Anyone who wants it may have a gah we, bah we, bo tournament for my macbook. But, they must keep a picture of me as their desktop background... muhaha

please give all of my books to the college students that need them. i have tons of them. the magazines can go to the next bride to be from church.

oh! and also, please return all of my library books, as i do not want to take overdue fees to the grave.

please give my healthy organs to whoever needs them most. preferably to someone with much youth and little monetary funds. *give my heart to someone who'll take good care of it!!

oh, and don't go through any of the memory boxes in my closet. i look ugly and fat in those pictures. and i sound stupid in those letters/cards. please just throw them away or burn them... i don't even know why i keep so many things from my past. i should burn them myself asap.

give my car to my brother... or one of my younger cousins. they can do what they want with it for all i care!

all of my savings and $$ can be given to my mother to pay for my funeral fees. although, i do not want to waste $$$ on flowers or a fancy wake thing. i'm gone. let me go. cremate me and throw my ashes in the pacific ocean. or.... just throw a huge party with an open bar so everyone can have fun and spend the whole night telling stories (about me and my awesomeness of course!). send a mass facebook invitation to all my "so-called" fb friends to see who actually comes! it would be kind of like the wedding i always wanted... but for me and Jesus!

it would be kind of cool for one of my best friends to write me an obituary in the paper... hint hint!

please delete and deactivate all of my email/fb/blog sites. cuz thats seriously a creepy reminder of someone who once was. (i believe jess/julie know my password.)

thank you. that is all.


here's to a long life hoping this will never gets used!!

time is tickin'~

these days, i've been going to sleep without setting an alarm (yay for vaca!!) but when i wake up in the morning, i feel so disoriented because i don't have a sense of time. then i realized that i really need a clock in my room! then i looked online and there are so many cute ones... but why are clocks so expensive??? oh! it's because they are like little treasures that hold tons of big secrets of all the things they've seen in a room...



i absolutely love this! i used to love cuckoo clocks when i was young. remember the ones everyone had? the little people would go around and music would play? i would sit there and watch every single hour... cuckoos make me feel so nostalgic....



i like this because it's cute. like a 5th grade art project... however, i don't like it b/c it makes me feel like a teacher. and i don't ever want to be a teacher ever again.



i know it's kinda ugly.. but ever since that super funny got milk commercial (where she finds out her ring is really a cubic??!!) i've always wanted this in my kitchen! so the cat's eye can follow me around... hehe



this is just adorable.... i would go to sleep with a smile on my face. and count sheep! (although i would only make it to sheep #4...)


oh dear, how i love all things naturally nautical. one day, when i am old and rich, i will sail around the world with my handsome salt & peppery haired husband in a little yacht and wake up to this clock every morning and be sooo happy~!



this one is just silly, but kinda cheesy and cute. i can never not like mermaids...


who knew my quest to find the perfect clock for my room would take me on a stroll through memory lane?? i guess i really do love clocks!!
^_^

freeeedom...

TO DO after finals week:

1. finally watch 500 days of summer
2. go to target many, many times
3. spends hours at the gym every. single. day.
4. plan & prepare house for parties to be thrown.
5. spend hours doing my nails.
6. read tons of books that i have on hold at the library.
7. watch a million netflix dvds to make up for 3 months of wasting it..
8. video chat every night. (guilt freee)
9. research airplane tickets~
10. finish and send out my grad school applications!!!!


i can't waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!

beneficiaries

Last week Pastor Jimmy gave a good sermon about seeing people for who they are, through the eyes of God. sermon here.

He mentioned how these days, everyone is out for themselves; especially when it comes to relationships with others. People want to be around those that they benefit from.... that they receive what they need from. (How sad is it that I have been on both receiving ends of that???) He even mentioned how some girls only hang out with girls who are uglier than them, so that they feel good about being pretty in comparison (talk about vanity, gosh!)

Anyways... that got me thinking about the company that i choose to keep... And I conclude that my friends are generally more attractive and awesomer than me. so much so that i find myself always telling people (i.e. guys): "oh yeah, yeah they're holler for sure". meaning, yes, you will find them attractive inside and out. but they ain't no hollaback girls, if you know what i mean...

now, when i think about my two bestest best friends... it simply comes down to this: I genuinely believe Jes is a better version of the person that I am, and Juls is a better version of the person I wish I could be. this is probably why we're gonna be life long friends. hee hee ( i feel so gaycheesy right now...)


<3

cuddle closer - it's non negotiable

ah, rainy days. cause rainy hearts...

i realized today that i haven't been (unconditionally) single in the month of december since.... 2001? wow. i guess my heart always had something going on....

but this winter of 2009, i stand alone. and i am colder and wiser. (literally & figuratively)

so, in lieu of a nice cozy, romantic winter entry, i will write about what cozy, romantic ideas i have about the next person that comes into my life (hopefully by next winter so i won't freeze my heart out).

GAM non-negotiables:
1. true disciple. (with a true walk)
2. trustworthy & honest. (does what he says and says what he does.)
3. genuinely good hearted. (it hurts for him to hurt others...)
4. assertive/mindful/considerate. (good noonchi & high emotional intelligence)
5. passionate. (about something worthy.. and hopefully makes mad $$$ doing it.. hee hee~)
6. giving. (in all ways, but esp. with quality time and emotional sharing)
7. same sense of humor (please?)
8. devoted (eyes wholly on me) & protective ( like a doberman/rottweiler mix~)
9. socialized (no cavemen allowed!).. but not flirty.

not too much to ask i dare say...

let's have faith that this exists out there somewhere... =/

happy winter!

send some guidance from above

it's so sad because after my dog got an ugly hair cut, i don't really love her anymore. haha.

i was looking back on my previous posts and saw the one i wrote about her first night at my house. man, she was so cute then! and i liked her so much. it just goes to show, never let looks guide your heart.. -_-

that sounds really shallow, i know. but it's not just the way she looks on the outside, i just don't really know her anymore!

i guess that's why quality time is so important in relationships, even if its one with an animal...

oh yeah, and external upkeep is important too! through this experience, i have made a new promise to myself that if i ever get married, i'm not going to just let myself go into super ajumma status. i know i had previously taken great joy in planning to do this, but now i realize presentation, (even to your own husband), is kind of very necessary....

back to the topic of Ooyoo... i'm not being fickle about my affections. things have just changed! she has changed! we don't even know each other anymore! she keeps barking at me when i come into the house! and then i chase her with a rolled up newspaper for being annoying, but on a deeper level, for hurting my feelings....

sigh.

where is the love?

the 5 languages

my love language tells me a lot about the way i function as a person and in relationships with others....

i never read the book, but i've been discussing this l.l. business with a lot of people lately and i've come to many conclusions.

[i know i talk about myself a lot, but seeing as how this is my reflective blog and only 2 people in the world read it besides me, it's my prerogative!!!]

so the way that i feel loved & appreciated by others is:
1. acts of service (because actions speak louder than words sometimes)
2. words of affirmation (because you still need to hear those words).
3. quality time (the key word being quality. sharing and connecting. because when people spend their precious time on you, you know they give a rip!)

the way that i show my love & affection to others is... through too many ways. i tried so hard to narrow it down to only two but i absolutely cannot! i know myself too well i guess...

1. acts of service. (you care when you do, even when you don't want to.)
2. touch. (i must have been south american in another life because i have to hug and hold my friends to show my affection!! the natural urge is too great, so i don't even fight it anymore)
3. gifts. ( i can't stop myself from buying things that remind me of people or jotting notes in my head about things that people say they want or need...it brings me joy~)
4. words of affirmation. ( i like to let people know that i appreciate them for their talents. giving genuine compliments makes both parties happy~)

so yeah...

what's your love language?
<3

for reals

genuine.

the word of the month... or, since it's december now, the word of the finishing year.

i think the word has lost some of its meaning as a result of its shallow use in media and advertising, but it's got a great depth to it.

i once took the eharmony questionnaire for fun (and self discovery) and the one question that took me longest to answer was the one that asked me to pick three of the words from this list that describes you are best. [i tend hate these types of questions because i feel it limits me as a person and when it comes to explaining myself, it's never simple.] but i came out of that inner dilemma convicted that "genuine" was one of the words that represents me. after a bit of reflection i really think its something that is organic. surprisingly, people still tend to respond to authenticity~

and when i end a letter with "Sincerely" i only use that word if i really meant what i said in the body of the message. other times, i just right "Best regards" or "-name". i don't like using sucha sincere word unless i am being totally real. and i wish others would stop tainting the mean of these words for the sake of etiquette or looking good, gosh.

i also decided that the people i click with or see a potential for clicking with are those that i can smell the genuine draft from. i tend to gravitate away from insincerity. but doesn't everybody? actually, no, i guess they don't. all i know is, no to faux!

genuine.
true.
unfeigned.
sincerely felt or expressed.
being or reflecting the essential or genuine character of something.

now, doesn't that bring just a smile to your heart??

license to drive

i had a great night spending quality time with myself today. just me, my hammer, ikea dresser (52 inches tall, mind you), and francis chan. for 4 stinkin' hours~

the best thing i heard all night that i wanted to share with my blogger world (population: 3)-

the sermon was "Priorities Part 1" and the analogy was that on the road of life, you often drive the car. when you're driving, you're in control. then somehow you hear about Jesus. you realize, wait, i need Jesus and his cross! I can accept Him in my life because it's what i need. So you go and pop the trunk open for Him and say, Climb in Jesus! I'll let you know when i need you. then you get in a jam, maybe a flat tire, and pop the trunk open again and expect God to get out and fix the problem. you call him Lord and Master, but what you really want is a slave because it's all about your needs and when. .

Others think they are better off because they invite God into the passenger seat. i still go where i want and when, but can you just keep me company? let's have a real relationship God, but it's all good because i'm still in control. i get to drive.

Instead, it should be like this. "God, you drive. I'll sit in the passenger seat. Where do YOU want to go? What are your priorities? Let me follow you. Let me serve you". Francis says that when we allow God to be the Lord of our lives, that is when he comes in and takes us on journeys that we would never have gone to without Him. we can start finding fulfillment in this relationship because we are being lead by God and His commands; His will; His way.

i just thought it was a great explanation of how we deal with the power of Christ in our lives sometimes... in the bad kind of way.

worthy

trustworthy: (adjective): deserving of trust or confidence; dependable; reliable. able to be relied on as honest or truthful. leave a spare key with a trustworthy neighbor.

it's so weird that people can just know people sometimes, without even knowing them really. like why and how did my boss choose me out of a handful of other people to be his assistant? this position requires so much trust and responsibility. yet, he hired me pretty much on the spot and then proceeded to hand me keys and a phone.... do i seem like an honest, trustworthy person on the outside? is it my little asian girl face? or the way i speak?

i think many things that i look for in people and friends stems from this theme of trustworthiness. all the others important characteristics like genuineness, sensitivity/consideration, ambitiousness.. etc are derivatives.

trustworthiness is different from reliableness, though. because being reliable means people can count on you to do things and be there... more in the category of responsible. but someone who is trustworthy, you are vouching for not only their reliability, but for their character and integrity as a person.... you just trust in their goodness.. pretty much. that they will never do you bad or hurt you. that they are also loyal.

....are you trustworthy?

with all i am

into your hand
i commit again
with all I am
for you Lord

you hold my world
in the palm of your hand
and I'm yours forever

I'll walk with you
wherever you go
through tears and joy
I'll trust in you

novelty

gosh, i've never been so busybody before!
the past two weeks have been a mad rushing around, packing, sorting, prioritizing, meeting deadlines, flying by the seat of my pants...but i feel so darn brand new!

our family finally moved out! it was the house my mom fell in love with from the beginning of her 2 year search but couldn't get her hands on. she watched it like a hawk for the past year and finally grabbed it up like a vulture. bravo mother, bravo.

although... i feel weird living in a house with stairs. growing up i always associated skinny people with two story houses. i attributed their thin legs and thighs to their going up and down the stairs everyday. but now i realize that stairs are a pain in the behind and not a form of exercise at all! i'm so dehydrated that my lips are cracking! and i'm dehydrated because the kitchen is just tooo far away to get a glass of water from!!!
*note to self: buy mini-fridge.


everything feels very homey and familyy and fun. i pretend i'm annoyed at my family calling me up on the intercom just to get me up and tease me.. but i really love it inside. hehe

anyways...for those of you that know and care: NY was a spontaneous trip that turned into a whirlwind of fun. very unexpectedly... enough so that we paid for a second ticket to stay a couple more days basking in the excitement of the city. i can't imagine not going back. in fact, i want spend the rest of my youth living there.. while i still have the chance!!


in conclusion:
1. come on over.. come on over baby~
2. let's go on over to NY soon.