i must be really bored.

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS - HOW DID YOU GET IT?
I have a bump on my lower lip cuz I was playing on a ramp and my fat head swung forward and my lip busted itself on the ramp and my mom was too cheap to stitches me… =(

2. WHAT ARE ON THE WALLS OF YOUR ROOM?
collages of a guy named James cuz we're subletting his place. haha. but the walls are close enough for a decent sized guy to hold himself up with his hands and feet… yeah. We live in a hallway room.

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
No. I’ve been told I smile in my sleep though…

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
music.

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
My mom’s water broke while eating a bowl of jja jang myun… must have been lunchtime.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
Stronger air conditioning!!

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
My dog being a puppy and sleeping on my lap… and i miss my gramma!!

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION?
Right now.. my smart phone cuz it saves my life everyday.

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
5' 1.5” ....don't hate!

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
no

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Sometimes...... i run through dark hallways.

12. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
Me.

13. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Not having a strong enough faith.

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
There are more things to worry about besides eye colour you crazy questionnaire!

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF GETTING ENGAGED?
in my mind..... haha jk. I don’t care as long as it is to a good man.

16. DO YOU PREFER COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
Tea.

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
me no likey pepperoni.

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Ice cold watah!

19. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?
blue.. green… aqua. oceany colors.

20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
What a waste of a good question.

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED?
my tiny little cross necklace from nathan alan... i lost it and i still miss it very much!!

22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?
Right now? Maybe…

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
No. I’m fat.

24. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
Forever 21 always gets me....

25. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE CELEBRITY?
go read my previous entries...

26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?
At home.. where I do not live! :(

27. WHAT KIND IS IT?
Maltese… she is probably really really fat now… I wonder if she will remember me when I return!?

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON WOULD LEAVE?
Can’t choose who ya love~

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED.
17.

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Depends, what’s their face look like?

32. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE?
"why does looking at animals covered in oil make me sad, but looking at animals covered in oil and deep-fried make me hungry?" - stephen colbert

33. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE?
Heaven.

34. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN OUTSIDE OF THE COUNTRY?
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

35. WHAT ARE YOUR WEAKNESSES?
i already told you.. i'm fat.

36. HAVE YOU EVER MET ANYONE WHO WAS FAMOUS?
Yes. who cares.

37. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST JOB?
Legal job? Never. haha

38. HAVE YOU EVER PRANK CALLED ANYONE?
All the time.

39. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOULMATE?
I hope so… I trust God is a good match maker.

40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT?
Reading jean’s answers. ^_^ hiii

41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
two words: wisdom teeth. three more: don't do it.

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ON MOST?
My fingernails color.

43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?
No. saved a lot of money too!

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Babies.

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? THEIR NAMES?
3 or 4. I don’t want to say cuz there are unintentional baby name stealers out there.. you know who you are! Or... i guess you don’t know who you are until you do it!! haha

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yes. Joy. The emotion my mother hoped I would bring to others. -_-

47. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF FROM THE OPPOSITE SEX?
1. ugly/annoying laugh or eating habits
2. timid and insecure
3. ditzy
4. mean or no sense of humor
5. not nice teeth/smile
6. skinny


48. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU LIKE(D) ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL?
cheer

49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
Back to my junior high herbal essences cuz everything else is so expensive!!!

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Only when I can read it

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Thinly sliced turkey.

52. DO YOU HAVE ANY BAD HABITS?
It’s all subjective....

53. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?
More possessive than jealous…

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
No doubt. but i'd be pretty annoyed by me. aahha

55. DO YOU AGREE WITH BEING FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?
Benefits… as in perks from work? Like getting 50% off??? then yes yes yes

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Attraction matters. Looks are subjective. but if you're a girl. yes. sorry but guys like pretty girls.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
Verbal vomit. write in a secret blog sometimes... Would prefer to beat a piñata with a bat…

58. WOULD YOU RATHER GAIN 58 POUNDS OR LOSE 58 POUNDS?
What kind of stupid question is this. Of course lose weight. I would be my ideal Korean weight if i lost 58 lbs!!??

59. WHAT'S YOUR MAIN GOAL IN LIFE?
to do more kingdom work & keep my eyes on the prize.

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
barbies... i still want that birthday barbie.

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
Who cares. It’s annoying me right now cuz i can't remove someone from my favorites!

62. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID?
No.

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Shut up.

64. DO YOU PREFER MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE?
I yam a potato girl.

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
1. True disciple of Christ.
2. 진심으로 착한 남자
3. loves his career
4. buff enough to carry me easily. sports. sports. sports.
5. great sense of humor... quick witted!
6. basically: more masculine than me in every way.
(srsly... not too much to ask.)

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Jo, jojomohosomojo, fatman, fatboy, 돼지

67. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE SUPERHERO?
Superman.

68. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
Modern family. The Simpsons. Mad men.

69. WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR ENEMIES?
Pray for them.

70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Haagen daz coffee

71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?
Yes.

72. DO YOU HAVE A COMPUTER IN YOUR ROOM?
I’m a mac now.

73. DO YOU HAVE ANY PLANS FOR TONIGHT?
Obviously not if I’m doing this. -_-

74. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WHEN YOU ARE OLDER?
Anywhere my husband has a good career.

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
Christina Aguilera – What A Girl Wants (don’t judge me, I’m in a 90’s mood tonite!) & jess’ laughter.

77. WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU DRANK?
Rice to riches – raisin rum flavor


78. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU SPOKE WITH ON THE PHONE?
Julie. I misdialed.

79. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
buff... tall with big shoulders.

80. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
Blog. Facebook. Buy groceries. (so sad, sad life I live)

81. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
Celebrities

82. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
All four, if they are true seasons.

83. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CANDY?
Melty blend chocolate.

84. HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND?
Jesus is my Homeboy.

85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
A very deep, dark brown… enough to be black.

86. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR?
A very deep, dark brown… enough to be black.

87. WHAT IS YOUR SHOE SIZE?
8.. shh don’t tell.

88. WHERE IS YOUR FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
Mcdonald’s always gets me.

89. WHERE IS YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT?
Right now: Kenka
At home: Roman Cucina

90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
No. i LOVE sushi.

91. DID YOU WATCH TV TODAY?
No. for I do not own one anymore :’(

92. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
Day before any Holiday.

93. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
Air guitar.

94. ARE YOU A REPUBLICAN OR A DEMOCRAT?
I stand for Republican economics and Democratic ideals.

95. DO YOU PREFER HUGS OR KISSES?
I like hugs. Kisses?? Tell me, what do they feel like???

96. DO YOU PREFER RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
I prefer two night stands (better lighting when you read a book in bed).

97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
Fruit. Lots and lots of fruit.

98. WOULD YOU EVER BE A HOUSEWIFE?
um.....WOULD I!?!??!?! …….i would cry a river of tears if i couldn't be a housewife.. then i'd pick myself up and go get a career. haha

99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
The Bible.

100. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE.
Invisible like Clay Aiken.

A+

what women want (so i'm told):
Attention
Affirmation
Affection
Adoration
... Affluence (bonus, hehe)

true friends club

upon a star...

*talents i wish i had

black & blue

ah, the age old dispute about who is the better superhero...

personally, Superman has and always will be the one. for me, it's not about who is the better crime fighter or who can win in a death match (which would probably be Superman anyways). rather, i look into the character and depth of their manhood.

even with his incomparable strength and talent, Clark Kent stays humble, meek, and morally upright. he is uniquely altruistic and has a kind & gentle heart... always helping those who are suffering. so self sacrificing... the fact that he has a detrimental weakness (the green rock) makes him even more endearing; more human and sincere. not to mention, he has amazing romantic timing whenever lois lane is in any trouble. and he only has eyes for her... ♡ (big plus that he can carry her forever and never get tired... and fly at the same time!!)

batman is too dark and brooding for my taste. and Bruce Wayne flaunts his riches and wealth for his haughty ego. what would he be without his money and techie toys? probably the above average douchey buff guy you see at the gym... and he's also got some major childhood trauma. can we say emotional baggage? does he even sacrifice anything for the woman he loves? who was it again? catwoman? poison ivy? some bad girl that is involved in a plot against him? psh, get your act together man.

juls has this ongoing theory that superman/coke lovers are simple traditionalists whilst batman/pepsi lovers are more hipsterish complicated folks. which, i have found to be true most of the time.

thank you silly poster...

나.
진짜
자존심 상했다....

i guess
this city is too big.
and i'm just too small....

silentregret.com

my life is officially a kdrama...
1. i have no family (here).
2. i have like, 2 friends.
3. i live in a corroding walk up building that smells like the French Renaissance... (ㅜ_ㅜ)
4. i work my heiny off at a vegan cafe for minimum wage
5. i will be tutoring a young asian boy with autism...
6. i cry... a lot.

BUT i don't recommend you watch this drama because:
1. there are absolutely NO love interests, (no rich, thoughtful, kind, selfless princes that come to a romantic, well timed rescue!)
2. just tons of frustrating situations
3. bad decisions that don't get resolved...
4. no shining inheritance whatsoever.
5. the main character is NOT super skinny, pale as the moon, pretty, cute, amusing, altruistic, or charming in the least. the main character is... dun dun dun.. humble, chubby, little ME!


.. but it still sounds kinda addicting doesn't it?? keke

hello.. good bye!

this past week has made me feel very odd. to think... nothing will ever be the same when i return.. not even me!

seeing friends for the last time and saying good bye made me feel as if i were going off into the arms of the grim reaper..

this is definitely a little death of some kind. the end of an era. movement away from all things of the past and progression towards a brighter future.

good bye childhood.
hello responsibility... and bills!
good bye california girl.
hello city chic chick!
good bye friends and family...
hello husband!
good bye comforts of home...
hello suffering and growth!
good bye naivety.
hello wisdom and discernment!
good bye hopes and dreams...
hello goals and successes!

good riddance, me!
and welcome, you!

it's just like...

some analogies i've been thinking about lately:

1) trying to fix your broken white out tape is like attempting to salvage a relationship. at first you're hopeful about fixing it cuz you think it's that simple. as time passes, you know you should just give up and throw it away cuz you're not getting anywhere, but then the time you already spent seems like a waste. so you continue on but know in the back of your head that it's a failed attempt. the longer you try, the more messed up and harder it gets to fix it. in the end, you just end up with sweaty armpits, a bad temper, a broke white out, and a useless relationship. next time, just quit early!!

2) being in love is just like being in pain. when you're in it, you're so deep in it that you can't focus on anything else. (that's the nature of love & pain.. an all engrossing, attention whore of a thing.) but when it's over, you completely forget what it felt like and you swear you've never been in it before!
2 a) i wonder if anyone has ever had their heart broken and 3 wisdom teeth pulled simultaneously... cuz that would really suck. or maybe if you fell in love while getting your wisdom teeth pulled, the two would offset each other and you would be in a state of limbo?? maybe your body would spontaneously combust!

3) searching for a new church is like searching for a spouse. it won't be perfect, but at the same time, it's gotta be juuuuust right. eeeek!

these are a few of my favorite things...

i began my mental and physical packing regimen today. and it's scaring me... the dreamy idea of living in the big city with my two best friends sounds so exciting, and daring, and refreshing, and grown up. but the reality of moving and creating a new life brings me back down to earth real quick....

where will we live? how big will it be? how much will it cost? wait, how will i pay for this? who will be our friends? what church will we attend? how will we get around? will we get lost? or worse, lost and then mugged? OH GAWT, WHAT WILL WE EAT?!?!?!

sigh. i always thought i was a minimalist.. or maybe i used to be. but somewhere along the line.. i started to become an evil pack rat!!! packing today reminds me how much i love my things. i love having my clothes. and colored pencils. and lotions. and potions. and dvds. and mittens. and pillows. millions of pillows. and lots of colorful hangers. and cute post-its. and nailpolishes. and shoes. and purses... and curling irons. and stuffed animals.. and AND et cetera!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what will i do when i have to leave all of this behind and begin a new? i need to detach myself from all of this junk immediately. oh! it hurts.... somebody take the pain away! or someone just come rob me while i'm not here....

gosh, i want to punch myself in the face! i need to get myself back to that canoe in the Black River in the middle of the Amazon when I had nothing... not even white water to drink. and i was so so content. just praying and praising God. and not worrying about what we would eat (which was nothing) or the (ugly mismatching) clothes on my back... i miss missions!!! i need more Jesus and less life....

1 John: 15-17

big fish in big apple

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord directs his steps. -Proverbs 16:9

Ecclesiastes 12

Remember Your Creator While Young

⁷ Light is sweet,
and it pleases the eyes to see the sun.

⁸ However many years a man may live,
let him enjoy them all.
But let him remember the days of darkness,
for they will be many.
Everything to come is meaningless.

⁹ Be happy, young man, while you are young,
and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth.
Follow the ways of your heart
and whatever your eyes see,
but know that for all these things
God will bring you to judgment.

¹⁰ So then, banish anxiety from your heart
and cast off the troubles of your body,
for youth and vigor are meaningless.

Be all that You can Be

These days, it's impossible to know whether I'm making decisions based only on what I want for myself. I have to constantly question if I am desiring and asking for God's voice to be heard.. Then I realize that no matter what I do, God always brings me back to where I should be.

As long as I can remember I've always liked singing. I grew up idolizing Mariah, but I never everland wanted to be a professional singer. I just wanted a chance to sing cuz I liked it so much. Recently, I found a perfect place for me to grow and utilize my gifts. Under the wing of Georgia Mike and on the sanctuary stage, I've found the most spiritual growth. Praise and worship is definitely the place where I feel most connected to God.

The other thing that I always wanted to do was play football. I used to run around on the blacktop squeezing my sucky self into lunch time games of flag football. The boys were probably annoyed as heck, but I just wanted to play so badly! I was beside myself when GNC's female turkeybowl team started playing in 2006. I realized that God really opens doors for us...

Lately, little things remind me of how I am getting older and that the people around me are getting married and with child. I don't feel rushed or pressured, but movies like The Blind Side remind me of my deepest desires and inner maternal instincts. Leigh Ann Tuohy is such a kick ass mom and a bad ass woman!!! Such a commanding presence with a big, generous heart. My new idol is a housewife. haha.. I remember in kindergarten, we were asked "What do you want to be when you grow up?" for our memory book. Other kids were saying, "Teacher, nurse, scientist, firefighter..." I am slightly ashamed but not surprised that my answer was, "I want to be a mommy!!.. etc. nonsensical 5 year old reasoning... etc." What can I do? God made me to be a very vocal, football playing, preggo ajumma!

Thinking about all of this just reminds me that God places us where we belong. He knows each of our hearts so well because He created each of us with our own talents and unique dispositions. We find ourselves having affinities towards specific people and specific things all for good reason. I have faith that if I am patient and trust the Lord... He will provide...

discovery

There, the Good Witch of the North, Glinda, advises Dorothy to follow the yellow brick road to the Emerald City and meet the Wizard of Oz, who can return her to Kansas. During her journey, she meets a Scarecrow, a Tin Man and a Cowardly Lion, who join her, hoping to receive what they lack themselves (a brain, a heart and courage, respectively).

I need myself a brain; a really big brain to study and receive my graduate diploma. You need yourself some heart; to be patient and loving in order to grow in all of your relationships, new and old. and You, darling, need you some courage to take on all the wonders of the city and learn to be even more independent woman!

We're off to see the wizard...

Toto....

there's no place like home....
there's nothing like the swooshy tailed greeting of your own dog..
nothing like the smell of your own room...
nothing like the privacy of your own space...
nothing like the comforts of your own korean kitchen...
nothing like the navigation of your own laptop...
nothing like the silly antics of your own parents...
nothing like the familiar flush of your own toilet...
nothing like the flutter of your own Bible pages...
nothing like the fluffiness of your firm bed...
and nothing like actually missing home enough to appreciate all of these things!

which is why i should leave more often.....

no fear.

i must say that i take pride in being a semi-brave person (team Gryffindor!) who doesn't have many fears. lots of girls i know can't stand spiders, snakes, cats, mousies, men....etc. i actually used to be scared of weirder things... but then i got over it.

i remember as a child, i used to fear dying a lot.... until i accepted Christ. on a canoe. in the middle of the black river. in the amazon. with my life flashing before my eyes. (now i find myself wanting to die young and fear growing really old... but that's another story for another day...)

oh and i used to fear going to the dentist because my teeth were really bad in the back and i didn't think he could ever fix them broken onez... then i realized that my messed up baby teeth were gonna fall out anyways.

and i used to be scared of dark hallways cuz my brother made me watch sightings with him late at night... but then i realized that i look better in the dark, so now i embrace the night like a vampire.

and i used to be scared of rollercoasters... more specifically, the Colossus. but then i grew a 6 pack and learned to use them to suppress the odd G force feeling in my stomach that was scaring me.

more recently i started to fear rejection, until i realized rejection is all too common and must be dealt with and not feared. now i just make tons of excuses for myself in order to deal...

i kinda still have a fear of dots, spots, eggs, and things in multitude... but i've gotten better at just suppressing the sickness and chills and goose pimples that i feel when i come into contact with these things. i just close my eyes real tight. and recently i have found more people who are scared too, so i feel like i'm part of a club.

today, i noticed that i have an unexplainable fear of ceiling fans. well... i only fear them when they are spinning really fast and when i have to pull the cord to make it stop spinning but it won't slow down and just keeps going faster and faster. it makes me feel really nauseated and scared and sweaty and out of control! after a while i can't look at the thing anymore and just keep pulling the cord with my head down... feeling that sense of doom in my pit of my stomach rise...... wondering when the torture will stop....

to each his own...

i realized that everyone has their own definition of good quality time... which translates into enjoying different ways of spending time with significant others~

for instance, one of my friends sees spending time on the phone and texting as mandatory in a relationship while another sees going out to museums, movies, fine dining, book signings, and a good ear cleaning/picking as mucho importante.

some of us really appreciate little sticky notes in random places, and funny picture text messages, while others of us love inside jokes posted on their facebook walls... or comments on their funny blog entries, or, ya know..... all of the above ;)

i, on the other hand, enjoy taking a stroll down the grocery store aisle with a namja on my arm and lots of food in my cart! and i really like having a default person to watch all my netflix with (cuz i'm cheap and i don't want to get dressed for the movies). lately though, begging my gfs to come over and watch random movies isn't working as well as it used to.... =I

bride of Christ

i thought of another kind of not exact, but pretty good analogy the other day during Pastor Jimmy's sermon:

becoming Christian is kind of like getting married. (wait! wait! let me explain)

When people walk up that aisle during a revival or a retreat, filled with emotion and the spirit, and decide to accept Jesus as Savior and Christ... it is something like that of a person walking up the aisle to that altar to commit their lives to someone they think they will love. (but don't really know.. or realize how much changing and compromising they will have to do.)

(btw, it has to be an arranged marriage because it has to be synonymous with GNC's belief of predestination and election. )

at first, both the Christian and the Groom believe in something truly and deeply. after the fact is when they realize that it doesn't end there. you have to walk back down the aisle and live your life according to the commitment you just made! until you DIE!

therefore, just as Christ followers must, and will naturally be transformed to become adopted into God's family and experience not only conversion but also sanctification, so the new bride or groom must and will change their selfish, single ways out of necessity and happiness for the marriage. both are arduous, exciting, disciplined, but joyous paths...

wait.. was that analogy an all too obvious one???? =/

donots

today, i was late to work because i had to stop for a box of donuts. 1 dozen. i am on my third now...

Lord help me..... =/



because i love donuts so so so much this week....

Berta Potts

Lord, why can't i just be a professional housewife? (minus the lifetime commitment and intimacy) why do i have to continue on through this drudgery that is graduate school.. and then enter the work force??

today, my boss asked me to go across to his unit and check on his laundry. so i did. i even folded his towels and matched his socks (even if he didn't ask me to). and of course (politely avoided his boxers... bleh~)

why can't we all just do what we LOVE and make money doing it???

maybe i could just be a Berta (Two and a Half Men):

the jolly large house keeper who shows tough love to the men in the house by cooking, cleaning, and making wise cracks about their bad decisions...


or maybe a Pepper Potts (Iron Man):

a professional grade personal assistant/secretary/maid who secretly loves her hott boss.

or a doubtfire....

my favorite childhood movie.
i love the silly, cool old hag so much!!


oh boy, how i would love my life....