leaning towards gleaning

they say every element of life is fully addressed in the bible.
        even romance? i ask...  
      yes! answers God.
        how?where? i ask....  
    Boaz & Ruth. answers God.
        oh, now i see. says i.  
    tolda ya so~ says God (squiggly and all).

Call me a romantic but Boaz was the original Prince Charming, superman before it was super, the first Casanova.

He knows what a girl wants:
1) protection - Boaz told Ruth not to glean in any others' field except his. He said his men would protect her within the confines of his land. how bold and romantic! i'm especially sensitive about this because i have a long-withstanding theory that my childhood wounds left me feeling vulnerable, unprotected, and alone a lot of times. my older brother was never really "protective"- more of a bully. and no one but my grandmother really stood up for me and my feelings (which is why i really cherish her to this day).  i wasn't born with a "strong" and "hard shell" personality. it was an adaptive strategy to fend for and protect myself. but now as i grow older, i realize it's a whole lot of work and i just want to let go. i don't want to hold back my tears for fear of looking weak and feminine. and i want to be with someone that i can trust will be noble enough to step up to the plate and take over. He will have my back, stand up for me, and be on my side, always - so i can feel stable, protected, and safe - physically and emotionally.

2) acceptance - Boaz saw Ruth in her times of need, in her lowest of position. instead of reprimanding her for scavenging the leftover harvest or finding her desperation disgusting, he found compassion in his heart for her. he offered her superfluous amounts of wheat, wine, and delicious meals. he saw her beauty and the glimpse of who she could become. (little did he know that she would become King David's grandmother!) oh how beautiful it is for someone to see another pre-glory and still accept, love, and appreciate them. so then, how much more love are we capable of as we continue to transform and grow in Christ?

3) favoritism - he picked her. he favored her. with confidence, grace, and generosity he took a great risk and gained a great reward.  i have this deep need to feel like the favorite. (yes, of course it stems from childhood, why do you even ask!). growing up i never felt like the favored child, or even like a real daughter (since my family always teased me about being the adopted black sheep, besides other issues). so i feel very loved when someone treats me special and when i receive favor. lately, i feel like God's favorite and it has been rejuvenating and restoring peace in all the shattered pieces of my broken little-girl heart (i know, i can be dramatic.... humor me.)

4) proud proclamation - Boaz proclaimed to his men that she could glean anywhere, anytime and he wasn't ashamed of it. i also have this deep insecurity (often times fueled by past mistreatment) that i am an embarrassing person to date, let alone associate with (secret dating is never a good thing -_-). so i find it to be of the utmost romanticest when men aren't ashamed to proclaim their love for a woman and call her his own. every girl wants to belong to someone (besides God). one day, one man will unashamedly proclaim his favor and commitment to me and i shall be greatly grateful to him all my life for it. yep, it only takes ONE! =]

Dear "Boaz",
the day i meet you,
i promise to glean only in your field...
all day long.
forever.

Dear more important God,
i promise not to put "Boaz" on a pedestal.
please help me keep my eyes on the prize.
thank you.
amen.