monkey see, monkey do

i used to joke about how i was afraid i was becoming my mother... then this weekend i realized (alarmingly) how sure i've already become her.

not only have i experienced the spiritual manifestation of suffering and grief passed down upon me from the past two generations... but i have the same (emotional and acts of service) tendencies as my mom.

1. when my friend fell very ill on wed night, i saw myself reacting in just the way that my mom would when something had happened to me... towards my treasured friend - although i didn't want it to be - my emotional response was one of anger and chastising; all these were symptoms of my deep worry for his well-being, of course. (odd, because i myself used to hate her reactions and complain about it all the time) my mom's incessant style has permeated so deep that it is spewing out of the crevices of my own being!

2. on thanksgiving night, i felt the sense of duty and desire rising within me. so, i took a natural course of action - wrapping up all the leftovers and cleaning up the kitchen after dinner. all this while everyone played games (really fun group games, mind you!).  for me, i found more pleasure in stuffing the tupperware just right, while listening in and chuckling at the ridiculousness of my friends. (i was so thankful that my friends could understand my heart's desires and leave me in peace. thanks guys.) i used to feel guilty and wonder if my mom enjoyed taking on the clean up duty while everyone rested but now i see... and now i also echo her force-ful, yet loving way of shoving food into the hands of people going out the door.

creepy how we are such carbon copies of our parents... right?
we even walk, laugh, and cook like them...