a slow fast

julie and i are cereal monsters. our costco case of soy milk has been completey depleted within 2 weeks time and our cupboard has 1 box of cereal out of 7 left standing... so, are we ridiculously koo koo for coco puffs? or is there something else going on???

our TLC (small group) has been on a group 40 day fast to practice in line with Pastor Danny's sermon about a fasted life style. and so from Jan 7 to Feb 16, each of us has dedicated to sacrifice something in our lives that we are dependent on... but that may not necessarily be good for us because it is a "weight" that holds us back from running "the race" with all of our might.

For me, i decided on a couple things in my life that i had begun to take too much earthly pleasure in but were unnecessary for my well-being.

1. dessert & sweets. (my recent dependence on these for happiness had become quite unhealthy)

2. facebook (it was dominating my thinking and honestly just became a frivolous waste of time)

3. dating (talking about and thinking about relationships; just too much)

#3, i've failed at utterly. at one point i couldn't even quantify this goal, so i gave up on it. it's harder to control my thoughts and my tongue than i thought, especially in social situations when the conversation always ends up being about people, love, and relationships.

another thing (and here is where the cereal story comes in) is that no matter how hard i try to "give something up" i am so weak. as humans, we have natural survival tactics that allow us to adapt to our environments. hence, the sugary cake-like delights have been substituted with cereal and boba drinks. --- if this fast is about the heart, then i need to re-assess and re-adjust my thinking because i am really starting to enjoy my sweet, sweet Lucky Charms... =/

as Pastor Danny spoke about this past Sunday, you cannot expect change by filling hungry bellies up with food. there is still a spiritual desolateness within that needs to be filled up with the Truth, with God.

so, Phileo-α, just ONE more week left until deliverance! let's remind ourselves why we are even doing this in the first place and take joy in it! i hope we've really learned a lot about how freeing it is to deny ourselves physical and earthly pleasures in order to commune with God on a more spiritual level.

Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. ✝ Matthew 4:4