"most enthusiastic"

i find "enthusiasm" annoying.

wait, wait - let me rephrase that: i find my own "enthusiasm" very annoying. (i will not mention the story of how i was voted "most enthusiastic" in 8th grade or i will get upset again.....) often times, i have a hard time loving people with this characteristic. i know... i know. there is nothing wrong with them... it's ME! it's me that i don't like seeing the reflection of.

what is it about the "enthusiasm"? well, plainly stated, people have been so annoyed and turned-off by my hyper activity that they've hurt me. (yes, once again, this entry is about my pain... -_-). so naturally, when i see someone acting "enthusiastic" or "hyper" i am inclined to run from their presence (because it make me feel cringey inside) or judge them harshly (ironically, the way that others have done to me). and so the cycle continues? no! i must break the cycle and appreciate them for their liveliness. (e.g., being on fire for God, unashamedly singing that Disney song they love a little too loudly, for hugging to tightly, for shrieking with excitement, etc). this world (filled with God's people) is not always about me me me and the way that i want to see people through my own experiences and understanding. it's about HIM - because God accepts and loves us, just the way we are.

subsequently, i have a natural affinity towards people who are quiet, calm, brooding, maybe even melancholy... because they are so opposite! just as an electron is enticed to be near the proton, God made us to be complementary to those who are different. (maybe my opposites appreciate my lightness, my zest, cuz they need a bit more "enthusiasm" in their lives). hallelujah~