i began my mental and physical packing regimen today. and it's scaring me... the dreamy idea of living in the big city with my two best friends sounds so exciting, and daring, and refreshing, and grown up. but the reality of moving and creating a new life brings me back down to earth real quick....
where will we live? how big will it be? how much will it cost? wait, how will i pay for this? who will be our friends? what church will we attend? how will we get around? will we get lost? or worse, lost and then mugged? OH GAWT, WHAT WILL WE EAT?!?!?!
sigh. i always thought i was a minimalist.. or maybe i used to be. but somewhere along the line.. i started to become an evil pack rat!!! packing today reminds me how much i love my things. i love having my clothes. and colored pencils. and lotions. and potions. and dvds. and mittens. and pillows. millions of pillows. and lots of colorful hangers. and cute post-its. and nailpolishes. and shoes. and purses... and curling irons. and stuffed animals.. and AND et cetera!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what will i do when i have to leave all of this behind and begin a new? i need to detach myself from all of this junk immediately. oh! it hurts.... somebody take the pain away! or someone just come rob me while i'm not here....
gosh, i want to punch myself in the face! i need to get myself back to that canoe in the Black River in the middle of the Amazon when I had nothing... not even white water to drink. and i was so so content. just praying and praising God. and not worrying about what we would eat (which was nothing) or the (ugly mismatching) clothes on my back... i miss missions!!! i need more Jesus and less life....
1 John: 15-17
come back next summer so we can all go back to the amazon!
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