the no excuses truth

reposted.. cuz sometimes we all need a reminder to make the right decision...

my personal picks from the bestseller "he's just not that into you" for all you confused/frustrated ladies (who may or may not be denial right now).

1. He's just not that into you if... he's not asking you out.
(because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.)

the excuse: but he gave me his number...
men for the most part, like to pursue women. they like knowing if they can catch you. they feel rewarded when they do... especially when the chase is a long one.

the bottom line:
-if you have to be the agressor... he's just not that into you.
-don't get tricked into asking him out. if he likes you, he will do the asking.

2. he's just not that into you if... he's not calling you.
(men know how to use the phone.)

the bottom line:
if he's not calling you, it's because you are not on his mind.
"busy" is another word for "asshole". "asshole" is another word for the guy you're dating.

3. he's just not that into you if... he's not dating you.
("hanging out" is not dating.)

so many gray, murky areas of vagueness, mystery, and no questions asked. dudes love this time because that's when they get to pretend they're not really dating you. they also get to pretend they're not really responsible for your feelings.

the excuse: "It's better than nothing".
really? is better than nothing what we're going for now? why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time? any guy who can wait two weeks to see you is just not that into you. better than nothing is not good enough for you!

bottom line:
-"i don't want to be in a serious relationship" truly means "i don't want to be in a serious relationship with YOU".


5. he's just not that into you if... he only want to see you when he's drunk.
(if he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.)

bottom line:
-drinking and drug use are not the path to one's innermost feelings.
-bad boys are actually bad.
-you deserve to be with someone who doesn't have to get loaded to be around you.

6. he's just not that into you if... he doesn't want to marry you.
(simple as that.)


8. he's just not that into you if... he's disappeared on you.
(sometimes you have to get closure all by yourself.)
he's gone. poof. vanished into thin air. well, there's no mixed message here...

the excuse: "but can't i at least yell at him"?
in the short term it might feel good to call someone and yell at him. but in the long run, you will have wished that you had not given him that much credit for ruining your life. or even your day. let someone else expend that kind of energy on him.

don't ask yourself what you did wrong or how you could have done it differently. don't waste your valuable heart and mind trying to figure out why he did what he did. the only thing you need to know is that it's really good news: He's gone. Hallelujah.

bottom line:
-no answer is your answer.
-don't give him the chance to reject you again.
-let his mother yell at him. you're too busy.
-there's no mystery. he's gone and he wasn't good enough for you.


11. he's just not that into you if... he's a selfish jerk, a bully, or a really big freak.
(if you really love someone, you want to do things to make that person happy.)

bottom line:
-you deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time.
-make a space in your life for the glorious things you deserve.
-have faith. what other choice is there?


Standard Suggestions:
(let's all read this aloud together now...)

1. I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH A MAN WHO HASN'T ASKED ME OUT FIRST.
2. I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH A MAN WHO KEEPS ME WAITING BY THE PHONE.
3. I WILL NOT DATE A MAN WHO ISN'T SURE HE WANTS TO DATE ME.
4. I WILL NOT DATE A MAN WHO MAKES ME FEEL UNDESIRABLE.
5. I WILL NOT DATE A MAN WHO DRINKS OR DEOS DRUGES TO AN EXTANT THAT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE.
6. I WILL NOT BE WITH A MAN WHO'S AFRAID TO TALK ABOUT OUR FUTURE.
7. I WILL NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, SPEND MY PRESCIOUS TIME WITH A MAN WHO HAS ALREADY REJECTED ME.
8. I WILL NOT DATE A MAN WHO IS NOT CLEARLY A GOOD, KIND, LOVING PERSON.